Witty Profiles

Drii_101

1. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 8:40pm UTC
   Mom: Son, a little birdie told me that you have been doing drugs.
   Son: Are you sure I'm the one doing drugs when you're the one talking to birdies?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
2. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 8:37pm UTC
   I always wondered if a dancer goes in a room and thinks,
   Dᴀᴍɴ! I'd tap that floor!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
3. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 8:31pm UTC
   Friend: Can we be more that friends? .-.
   Me: Like what? Bestfriends? :D
   Friend: No..more than that.
   Me: MEGA BESTFRIENDS? :D
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
4. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 8:29pm UTC
   I saw a really cute guy at the hospital..
   he was in a wheelchair,
   so I thought to myself
   Well, at least this one can't run away!
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 25 points
5. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 8:19pm UTC
   Dear guys,
   Next time you say all women belong in the kitchen..
   just remember,
   that's where all the knives are :)
   Love,Girls.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
6. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 7:59pm UTC
   Drake: ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?
   Josh: I AIN'T CALLING YOU A TRUTHER!
   [Drake and Josh]
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
7. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 7:56pm UTC
   Society: You're ugly you're fat you're a mess nobody likes you you just need to go die.
   -Committs sucide-
   Society: She was such an angel. She didn't deserve any of this oh my god my prayers to her.
   [Words hurt]
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
8. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 7:51pm UTC
   Me: Hey mom I have good news :D
   Mom: You got an A+ on your test? :D
   Me: I said good news not a miracle.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points
9. Drii_101
   posted a quote
   January 28, 2013 7:44pm UTC
   And then satan said,
   "Put the alphabet in math"
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 47 points
10. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 28, 2013 7:42pm UTC
    My mother always said that alcohol is the enemy..
    Jesus said to love your enemies :D
    Win.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
11. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 28, 2013 7:40pm UTC
    Teacher: Where is your math homework?
    Me: It committed sucide..it had too many problems :[
    Teacher: I'm sorry for your loss.
    Me:Thank you, thank you so much :'[
    [True story]
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points
12. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 28, 2013 7:22pm UTC
    After an argument,
    I always think of awesome things I could have said.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points
13. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:21pm UTC
    Screw pick up lines we need break up lines.
    Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
14. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:18pm UTC
    Other kids: YEAH PARTY AND GET WASTEDD
    Me: Well, looks like it's just me and you witty.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
15. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:16pm UTC
    Imagine this:
    You're home alone and you sneeze.
    Then the phone rings,
    You anwer and someone says "bless you" and hangs up.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
16. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:12pm UTC
    Guy: I heard you like bad boys? (;
    Me: Yeah...
    Guy: I don't want to show off but..I swim without floaties (;
    Me: Oh my..
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
17. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:10pm UTC
    Guy: Hey I just had my first kiss.
    Friend: Your mom doesn't count
    Guy: Yeah but yours does
    Friend....
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
18. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:08pm UTC
    Guy: Damn are those space pants cause that a*s is outts this world!
    Me: No..there softball pants cause this a*s is out of your league.
    [BURN]
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
19. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:05pm UTC
    If we weren't ment to have midnight snacks...
    Then why is there is light in the fridge!?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
20. Drii_101
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:03pm UTC
    When I'm bored..Nobody texts me.
    But right when I'm busy,
    BAM.
    Still nobody texts me.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

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