There was once upon a time when I thought I had wings,
I’d run across the school yard and pretend it was heaven,
He told me I looked like an angel whenever I ran, So I ran,
I didn’t run only for the passion,
It wasn’t the red string either; it was for the other half of my soul, who couldn’t even walk,
Whenever I ran, I made sure he was watching,
So he could see how wide I could spread my wings,
He said when I spread my wings it were as if he were flying,
So I spread them further,
One day god decided to intervene,
He loved my brother so he decided to take him away from me,
When the other half of my soul was gone, my right wing was broken,
I couldn’t run,
I felt low as an ant in hades.
So I decided I’d let go of this life and visit my brother,
I held a knife to my wrist, and thought about my mother,
The knife dropped to the floor,
I didn’t want to leave my mama alone,
So I decided to live, so she wouldn’t be alone,
I hid my pain in a mask to make her smile,
I thought this is only what I need to live on,
So I ran once again, and I didn’t cry,
My brother felt lonely up in heaven,
So he called on my mother,
Again I felt empty, yet another wing broken,
Again I held the knife to my wrist,
With no reason to live, and I couldn’t cry
The flow of blood filled my sink,
The darkness filled my head,
And I thought this is the end,
I woke up in a white sheet,
Hospitalized and chained to the bed,
I stayed there for many days,
When I met a child with no legs,
He reminded me of my other half,
So I talked to him,
I told him everything,
He asked me “Did you cry?”
I shook my head to no,
He asked “why?”
I told him I was incomplete, I told him I was weak
He smiled told me “People don’t cry because their weak, they cry because they’ve been strong for too long”
So I cried.
I never met the boy again; I waited 30 more days when they let me leave,
I asked the Nurse about the boy,
She told me he had died,
I felt broken and I cried,
But I didn’t lift a knife to my wrist this time,
Because I realized I wasn’t weak,
I realized I’m not incomplete,
I was just waiting for someone to find my puzzle and put it back in to pieces,
And now I will live,
Not for only him,
For my mama and the other half of my soul
Because I realized,
Giving up is what makes me weak,
And living takes courage.
DawnsAshes313