Witty Profiles

BlakelyBoo

1. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 26, 2012 5:50pm UTC
   Mom: I entered a contest for One Direction tickets and if I win I'm taking you.
   Me: \ ( ^ o ^ ) /
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
2. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 26, 2012 5:03pm UTC
   Sometimes it rains the hardest
   || on the people who deserve the sun ||
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
3. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 26, 2012 5:00pm UTC
   Friend: I figured out my great-great-great-great grandfather helped build the Titanic!
   Me: Looks like he didn't do a very good job, now did he?
   nmq/nmf
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points
4. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 26, 2012 4:56pm UTC
   Doctor: *scrapes gums with sharp metal intrments*
   Doctor: You're bleeding because you don't floss.
   Me: Fuuuu-
   nmq.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
5. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 18, 2012 5:58pm UTC
   Me: Hey, what's up?
   Dad: Gas prices.
   Me: No lol, I meant what are you doing.
   Dad: Your mom.
   Me: I want to move out.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points
6. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 18, 2012 5:49pm UTC
   Boy: Hey, ever heard about princesses?
   Girl: Yeah, why?
   Boy: You have my number if you ever want to get treated like one.
   
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7. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 18, 2012 5:37pm UTC
   Girl: Do you think I'm cute?
   Boy: No.
   Girl: Am I pretty?
   Boy: No.
   Girl: Does that mean I'm beautiful? <3333
   Boy: No it means you're ugly.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
8. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 18, 2012 5:24pm UTC
   Dad: Want to ge frisky at Target tonight?
   Me: Please tell me that was for mom. It's still nasty either way though...
   Dad: No it was for you.
   Dad: Friskies the cat food. For your cat.
   True.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 52 points
9. BlakelyBoo
   posted a quote
   June 6, 2012 10:20pm UTC
   Mom: You're beautiful, sweetie. You must have boys all over you.
   Uncle: I think I'll have to beat up some boys because you are just the prettiest girl ever.
   Grandma: Why don't you have a boyfriend yet honey? You're the most adorable girl I've ever seen.
   Friends: I wish I was as pretty as you! I wonder why no one has asked you out yet.
   Me: Maybe it's the fact I'm a hideous troll that's the size of a 4th grader and the one society shuns.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points
10. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2012 10:14pm UTC
    Mom: Turn off your computer and socialize for once in your life.
    Me: Just a minute.
    Mom: Excuse me??
    Me:
    Mom: I sense some attitude.
    Me: Bu-
    Mom: No buts, one more word and you're grounded.
    Me:
    Mom:
    Me:
    Mom:
    Me: *scratch head*
    Mom: That's it, give me your phone.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
11. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2012 10:10pm UTC
    Mom: Honey, please clean up your room.
    Me: K.
    Me: *goes to room and hops on bed*
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 3 points
12. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2012 10:06pm UTC
    Normal People: I think I'll take a break from the computer, I've been on for hours.
    Me: Must. Take. Break.
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: ...
    Me: That's long enough, right?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
13. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2012 2:15pm UTC
    Me: I'm actually having a good day today.
    Life: Haha, just a second dear.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
14. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    May 24, 2012 5:52pm UTC
    Normal People: Oh no I forgot my homework!
    Me: Oh dear god, I forgot my 1D poster.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
15. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    May 24, 2012 5:21pm UTC
    Them: Imma go smoke weed, steal some liqour, get drunk and bang a random at a club cause' YOLO!
    Me: I'm gonna going to go get some chips because, I'M HUNGRY!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
16. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    May 24, 2012 4:47pm UTC
    That Awkward Waddle
    While Crossing the Street....
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 2 points
17. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    May 23, 2012 5:06pm UTC
    5 Deadly Terms Used By Women
    1) Fine: This is the word used to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shutup.
    2) Nothing: Means something and you need to be worried.
    3) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission, do not do it.
    4) Whatever: Womens way of saying screw you.
    5) That's Okay: She is think long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake.
    Bonus Word - WOW:
    This is not a compliment, she is amazed anyone could be this stupid.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
18. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    May 22, 2012 5:22pm UTC
    How are Men and Parking Lots
    alike?
    The good ones are always taken and the others are either handicapped or
    extremely small
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
19. BlakelyBoo
    posted a quote
    February 12, 2012 7:08pm UTC
    Well, pardon my sarong, Harold.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

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