Witty Profiles

Bellamynamenottwilight

1. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   August 26, 2012 6:11pm UTC
   The name's Please
   B//ch Please
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
2. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   August 25, 2012 9:25pm UTC
   Things to do in an Elevator
   Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
   Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
   Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
   When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"
   Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
   Start a sing-along.
   When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your cell phone?"
   Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
   When a group of people get on, say, "I'm sure you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today..."
   Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
   On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
   Sell Girl Scout cookies.
   Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 450 points
3. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   August 25, 2012 6:09pm UTC
   If you had a bad day
   1. Go to Pandora
   2. Make a new station
   3. Type in 'Disney Songs and Stories'
   4. Live in endless ecstasy
   you're welcome.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
4. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   July 26, 2012 1:44pm UTC
   Dad: hey, want to hear a joke?
   Dad: so a tomato, a hose, and lettuce...
   Me: no! please dad!
   Dad: ...decide to have a race.
   Me: dad ive heard this a million times
   Dad: And in the race...
   Me: please help me
   Dad: ...the lettuce was a-head, the hose was running, and the tomato was trying to catch-up! :D
   Me:
   Me:
   Me: no.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
5. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   July 26, 2012 11:59am UTC
   me: sees all these quotes with this format
   me: maybe i should make one
   me:
   me:
   me:
   me:
   me:
   me: never mind im not a guy
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
6. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   May 31, 2012 5:04pm UTC
   That moment when...
   You try to set your best friend up with your old crush so you don't feel bad about knowing that her crush likes you.
   Lol JK did I scare you bestie? :P
   P.S. I still think it's hilarious that Cow Eyes likes you.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points
7. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   February 20, 2012 3:00pm UTC
   We all know a girl who #6
   Doesn't have a boyfriend, but always gives boy advice anyway.
   bellmynamenottwilight
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
8. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   February 20, 2012 2:50pm UTC
   We all know a girl who #5
   Trys to seem like she's not trying.
   bellmynamenottwilight
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
9. Bellamynamenottwilight
   posted a quote
   February 20, 2012 2:47pm UTC
   We all know a girl who #4
   Pretends to be stupid.
   bellmynamenottwilight
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
10. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2012 12:08pm UTC
    We all know a girl who #3
    Is better than everyone at everything.
    Should I make a series?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
11. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2012 12:05pm UTC
    We all know a girl who #2
    Everyone thinks is perfect.
    Should I make a series?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points
12. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2012 12:02pm UTC
    We all know a girl who #1
    Is obsessed with horses
    Should I make a series?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
13. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    February 19, 2012 2:12pm UTC
    "I just threw on some sweatpants." And yet you had time to slather your face with makeup?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
14. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    February 18, 2012 2:32pm UTC
    So the other day,
    He texted me for the first time ever.
    After a while, I got up the courage to take that chance and I told him how much I liked him.
    Well, they were wrong. It doesn’t always end happily.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
15. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    February 12, 2012 7:56pm UTC
    When you're on your period,
    pretend you are flushing murder evidence down the toilet.
    It will cheer you up. :)
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points
16. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    January 21, 2012 3:15pm UTC
    ----------------------------------------- Getting a Coin Magnet on Temple Run & Bam! No coins anywhere. -----------------------------------------
    Format by: jayciecutie01
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
17. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    January 14, 2012 5:34pm UTC
    Trash you don't know how useful it is until you get assigned a science project. ♥nmf
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
18. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    January 9, 2012 8:36pm UTC
    Does anyone else hate it when the water pressure isn't strong enough to get the shampoo out of your hair?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
19. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    January 1, 2012 5:18pm UTC
    Some people get confused when sentences don’t end as they potato.
    nmq
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points
20. Bellamynamenottwilight
    posted a quote
    January 1, 2012 4:27pm UTC
    So my brother was counting "lighbulbs" and when he got into the hundreds, I screamed S.T.F.U!
    He goes "what's that?"
    So I told him
    He starts giggling, says "ohhhhhhh..." and keeps counting.
    Welcome to my life.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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