AND DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS ?
i know this quote isn't pretty or anything, but i'd still like you to read it. it could really make a difference. Right now, I am 13 years old. I grew up as a confident young girl, and I never thought words could ever hurt me. That changed when i entered 4th grade. I was new to the school and I didn't know anyone there. There was of course the girl that everybody liked, and thought was soo cool. Me, being new of course she had a new opportunity on someone to pick on. The whole year i only befriended two people, sadly she stole one of them away from me, leaving me only one good friend. That's only the beginning, she had such a strong hate for me when I barely talked to her more than twice! The next year, she spread rumors that I was a lesbian...her goal was to make sure nobody wanted to be my friend. Unfortunately, she reached that goal. I lived off the rest of my elementary years feeling unwanted and hated. (which i was) The sad part is, that I was hated for no reason. The next year was 6th grade and I was hoping that maybe I could get a chance of a new image with all the people around me. I no longer wanted to be the ugly loser that everybody saw me as. Too bad, I was wrong. One day i logged onto facebook to find comments on my pictures that I had posted of me. A girl that I had barely spoke to wrote comments on my pictures saying 'sick' and 'gross face'. Of course I was hurt, so I messaged her kindly asking her to stop writing mean things. She took this as a threat and started messaging me non-stop horrible things, to the point where she tried to convince me to commit suicide. Of course, it broke me, but i tried to ignore it. Then one day during my p.e class, I was sitting on a bench listening to instructions when a boy came up to me saying "I'm so glad that I'm ME, and not an ugly girl with pimples all over my face like YOU." I looked at him with hurt in my eyes, and everyone who witnessed it just laughed as if it was hilarious. I turned around and looked at the ground with shame. I never realized I was ugly through the eyes of my peers. It hurt a lot. Then 7th grade came around and i got off to a better start..i had good friends, and everyone who was mean to me apoligized and were beginning to befriend me. I felt like things were heading off to a good start, and i would have a good year. But in my head, i would always think that people see me as ugly. And sometimes, boys would make comments to eachother about how i had a 'dirt face' or how i was 'ugly' and they'd never date me. What they didn't know is that everything goes around..it eventually got to me, and i heard. I was broken, confused. Of course there were many people that told me i was beautiful, and pretty, but i never believed them. The negative comments ALWAYS overpowered the postitive ones to me. So that's when i broke..i couldn't take it..and thats when i started cutting myself. I felt worthless to anybody, and i would write letters to myself telling myself how ugly and stupid I was. It eventually got to the point where I thought i was a mistake to the world. It made me angry, and I felt bad for people who had to look at me. I so strongly believed that my face was unappealing. Thats when i started suffocating myself. I discovered it around late April. I would get my scarf and wrap it arund my throat untill I fainted from lack of oxygen. I then felt guilty, and stopped. Now I have great supporting family and friends in my life And I'm still trying to work up my self esteem. I'm not writing this to make you feel bad
for me. I'm trying to tell you that words hurt. So before you say things to people, think twice. <3
BRImagination