Witty Profiles

Allah

1. Allah
   posted a quote
   September 10, 2012 3:20pm UTC
   Have you ever gotten one of those wishes for your family to die because of YOU and not your family?
   About 9 months ago, I met a guy. He was strangely nice to me right away. He was a really nice friend and whenever someone tried to be mean to me, he stood up for me. Then, just about 4 months ago, he asked me out. Right then I knew was the right time to tell him I'm a lesbian, since he has been giving me hints before that. When I told him that, he was very surprised and was very silent. About 2 minutes later, he walked away and I asked him why. He told me I was disgusting, and wished for my family to die, and never talked to me again. Today, my sister was diagnosed with brain cancer. Yeah, I hope you liked what you wished for, as/shole.
   
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2. Allah
   posted a quote
   August 30, 2012 2:10pm UTC
   Some people make me so sick.
   Have any of you watched My Strange Addiction? On one episode, there's this girl who has a triple K size cup. She keeps getting surgery to make her boobs bigger and bigger and already spent 2 million dollars on it. She also had her ribs removed. Her doctor keeps telling her to stop because she already has blood clots or something like that in her boobs and could die. She already gets back cramps because of all the weight that's in the front. Her family and friends keep telling her to stop and they're extremely worried about her. But even after being told she could die from it and seeing her family and friends crying because of how worried they are, she goes a size bigger, she goes to a triple M. I know this episode or show whatsoever could be fake, but there are other people in this world that do that. And it's disgusting.
   
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3. Allah
   posted a quote
   August 29, 2012 3:53pm UTC
   "I'm leaving facebook." The 12 year old girl said.
   "I'm getting too old for this website." She said.
   
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4. Allah
   posted a quote
   August 26, 2012 6:35pm UTC
   "I'm so poor, my family has no money." The girl sighs as she plays temple run on her iPad 2 then gets up to say bye to her mom who has a career as a doctor and her dad who has a career as a lawyer then goes outside in her installed-pool with her Victoria's Secret swim bikini while she steps on finished stone paths
   
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5. Allah
   posted a quote
   August 18, 2012 11:10pm UTC
   Person: *comments on my profile* If you ever need to talk I'm here for you!
   Me: *A few days later* complains about my bestfriend's boyfriend not getting along with me
   Person: Ummm, why are you complaining to me about that???
   Me:
   Me:
   Me:
   Me: Please someone tie me to my chair to prevent me from going to this persons house and punching them in the face.
   
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6. Allah
   posted a quote
   July 28, 2012 6:55pm UTC
   BIGGEST LIE EVER:
   "Witty is an anti-bullying site!"
   
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7. Allah
   posted a quote
   July 22, 2012 9:23pm UTC
   They ignore you now,
   but they'll need you later.
   nmf
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
8. Allah
   posted a quote
   April 30, 2012 8:11pm UTC
   10 reasons to be against gay marriage.
   1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
   2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
   3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
   4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
   5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun would be destroyed.
   6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
   7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
   8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
   9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
   10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector, economy, or longer life spans.
   See how stupid it is to hate on gay marriage for the most common reasons? Go ahead, hate on me if you're against gay marriage and say this and that for excuses, but I'm lesbian, and I'm proud.
   NMQ-TUMBLR
   
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9. Allah
   posted a quote
   April 29, 2012 9:00pm UTC
   Nerd pick-up lines #5
   You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
   nmf
   
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10. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 29, 2012 8:57pm UTC
    I want some witty friends.
    I prefer you relate to me -
    I don't like One Direction.
    I'm funny.
    I'm insane.
    I like Sleeping with Sirens, and A Day to Remember.
    Any takers?
    
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11. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 24, 2012 12:34pm UTC
    Nerd pick-up lines #4
    What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1
    nmf
    
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12. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 24, 2012 12:31pm UTC
    Nerd pick-up lines #3
    I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
    nmf
    
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13. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 6:23pm UTC
    Nerd language #2
    Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing?
    nmf
    
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14. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 12:58pm UTC
    Admit it,
    You always do a dance before you get in the shower.
    just me?
    nmf
    
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15. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2012 12:45pm UTC
    Nerd lanuage #1
    Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print!
    nmf
    
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16. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2012 2:35pm UTC
    "I taw I taw a putty cat!"
    anyone remember this? (:
    
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17. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2012 1:07pm UTC
    GIRL CONFESSIONS...
    Do you sleep in your bra? no
    Are you a Girly girl? nopee
    Are you short? kinda yea.
    Small or big hand bags? small
    Do you like somebody? no
    Do you care if your socks get dirty? yes
    Are you double jointed? yes
    Do you like Halloween? no
    Where is the weirdest place you've slept? woods
    What color is the bra your wearing? brown
    Do you have a best friend? eh
    Have you ever had your heart broken? nope
    Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery? no
    Do you like your life? no
    Have you ever jumped in a pool with your clothes on? yes
    Do you have more friends that are girls or guys? guys
    How long have you had your Facebook? 3 years
    Have you ever slapped a guy on the face? no
    What are your biggest fears? seeing a ghost and dying before i even get the chance to get married.
    Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? every night
    Have you ever not been able to get someone off your mind? no
    Have you ever had a good feeling about something? no
    Do you believe "once a cheater, always a cheater"? no
    Do you ever wish you were famous? no
    Are you currently missing someone? yes
    Who are you texting right now? no one
    Hat or beanie? hat
    Beach or park? beach
    Sweet or sexy? sweet
    Eyeliner or mascara? mascara
    Pink or black? black
    Skirts or pants? pants
    Pumps or flats? flats
    Leggings or socks? leggings
    Hoodies or jackets? hoodies
    Heels or sneakers? sneakers
    Straight or curly hair? curly
    Smoothies or lattes? smoothies
    Diet or regular soda? diet
    Water or daiquiris? water
    Pearls or diamonds? pearls
    iPod or cell phone? cell phone
    Friends or family? both
    Lip gloss or lipstick? lip gloss
    Manicure or pedicure? manicure
    Tank tops or shirts? tank tops
    Big or small sunglasses? small
    Cowboy or gangsta? cowboy
    Face or body? face
    Smart or dumb? smart
    Funny or serious? both
    Romantic or daredevil? romantic
    Dark or light eyes? light
    Curly or straight hair? curly
    Hockey player or football? football
    
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18. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2012 5:27pm UTC
    Christina Aguilera: You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring you down. *Writes more inspiring lyrics with MATCHING tune*
    Everyone: Lol hahaha sure.
    One Direction: You're insecure, don't know what for. Don't need make-up, to cover up. Baby, you light up my world like nobody else *Writes more lyrics with UNMATCHING tune*
    Everyone: OMG OMG! ONE DIRECTION IS SO GOOD AT SINGING!!!
    This is sad how Christina Aguilera is ignored. She's inspiring, actually has tunes that match what she's saying. One Direction doesn't.. they only get more attention because they're boys....
    
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19. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 18, 2012 7:00pm UTC
    Wow thanks a lot witty for all the help.
    THE ONLY TIME i ask for help i get none. none at all. i thought i could actually ask you guys for help. and now my arm is full of scars. thanks a lot.
    
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20. Allah
    posted a quote
    April 18, 2012 5:52pm UTC
    I just want to run away from this city.
    So my parents found out that I'm lesbian right? They've been treating me differently. Really differently. Last night, I had my best friend over(shes a girl and she didnt know im a lesbian). We were watching comedy movies and playing video games, until my mom came in because we wanted some popcorn, and my mom says, "So are you going to feed your 'girlfriend' some popcorn, Jasmine?" i said "No mom. I know where you're going with this. Shut up." and then she says "Uh oh, is the lesbian mad?" i got up and i took the popcorn from her pushed her out of the doorway and closed the door. my best friend asks me "You're a lesbian?" and i told her yes. she left the house. i texted her saying "whats wrong with me being a lesbian?" and she said "everything" and i said "well whats everything?" and she never responded. i texted her again saying "are you going to respond?" still no reply. at school today, some people pointed at me and started laughing, while my friend said "honestly it isn't funny. she's a lesbian. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that." i asked her what happened and she said that my so called best friend told everyone i was a lesbian. no one except my only friend talked to me. and before yesterday, i had a lot of friends. a looot. almost everyone at my school was my friend. at lunch all i heard was "jasmine" and after someone said my name they laughed. i havent been able to stop crying ever since i got home. my best friend hasn't talked to me.
    someone please help me. please help. i dont know what to do i want to cut myself so bad or suicide. please help
    
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