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Andie*
posted a quote
January 7, 2024 5:08am UTC

How do I know if my thoughts are mine or are they yours? I miss you

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Dudu*
posted a quote
January 1, 2024 4:51am UTC

you didn't even really do anything bad.
it's mainly the stuff you didn't do.
i was measuring you against a version of youself i had heard you describe to me.
you can give your all to others, so i wanted a slice of that too.
i went above and beyond, but i feel like i'm just enabling you at this point.
it wasn't reciprocated to the extent that i would have liked.
i have needs and i can't be your biggest cheerleader if you aren't mine.
there were times when you didn't listen to me when i raised a boundary.
i really didn't like that.
so i'm going to sort these feelings out.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
January 1, 2024 4:47am UTC

i used to be the friend that takes on average 72 hours to respond to a text. but now you've turned me into a different type of beast. i'm anxiously attached to my phone until the release hits and i get a text from you. the anxiety seeps out and transforms into a bubbly light feeling in my head. i don't like that my mood still dips down with the affect or inflection of others. i'm not happy that i will have to feel this little discomfort till the day i die. i'm not happy that he's so different from what i know is good for me. i hate that most days i get through by a combination of visual, auditory and physical distractions. i hate how numbed out and callous i can be when i'm hurt. i hate that sometimes writing things down is the only way i can recognise how i am doing. this whole time i was trying to keep him afloat but it killed a piece of me. my toxic positivity leaves me starved of attention and so infuriatingly meek. i've fallen for a friend that i see no future with. till this day seeing my mother laugh with my sister makes me happy and stings me just as bad. when i can't get a word in it brings me back to the worst feeling of all. so many disconnected feelings exist within me and i wish i could have it all sorted out once and for all.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 24, 2023 9:04am UTC

And I knew
you'd come back to me
You'd come back to me
And you'd come back to me
And you'd come back.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 24, 2023 3:42am UTC

it takes
hard work
pain and
discipline.
it's not meant to be easy.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 22, 2023 11:54am UTC

maybe you're my first true love or first ever heart break.
i don't know how you'd feel about any of that
i never know who you're texting back.
i just know you can always come back to me.
tonight i don't know if you're out drinking with friends.
you said it'd be the last time, but i'm not sure.
i just know you can always come back to me.
all i know for certain is that you can trust me.
maybe you're the biggest mistake or the greatest gift of my life.
i'm not sure how to feel about any of this.
i just like speaking to you and having you around.
i hope this feeling doesn't expire for you before reaching me.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 22, 2023 11:41am UTC

when we don't speak as often or when you don't respond the way i want you to,
i feel it slipping from me.
when i can't meet your needs and comfort you in the ways i know i should,
i feel you slipping away from me.
when i hear you joke around with her, i feel it then too.
do you feel that way when i joke around with him?
i know we're so similar.
but i don't know if your heart is like mine.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 22, 2023 9:42am UTC

maybe i was just lonely?

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 16, 2023 12:29pm UTC

truth be told,
i liked having your attention.
truth be told,
i liked how you would always be
the one to start conversation.
BUT I'LL BE GOOD NOW,
I'LL TRY TO MEET YOU HALF WAY.
i won't play games anymore.
if when i miss you, i'll reach out.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 11, 2023 1:54pm UTC

i don't know how i feel about you

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