Best Toilet Quotes Ever

asianmayonnaise
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 4:09pm UTC

Is it just me, or is it socially unacceptable to blow your nose in school?

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Rajsonkar
posted a quote
August 20, 2013 11:16pm UTC

Best slogan written on the
toilet wall
"Treat me well and keep me
clean, i'll not tell anyone
what I have seen.."
format credit-rajsonkar

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kelly*
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 1:48am UTC

Why does toilet paper need a commercial?
Who is not buying toilet paper?

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absent *
posted a quote
August 22, 2013 12:32pm UTC

Giving yourself a pep talk and mentally preparing yourself to get out of bed and go to the toilet in the middle of the night.

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Steve*
posted a quote
July 23, 2013 8:51pm UTC

The awkward moment
when you flush the toilet
in the middle of the night
and it's the loudest
f*cking sound in the
entire universe.

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soccertrack
posted a quote
March 16, 2013 1:45pm UTC

Toilet (noun) - Something that only clogs at a friend's house.

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Vinita*
posted a quote
May 26, 2014 6:02pm UTC

I gave my toilet a lap dance once

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 1, 2013 3:51pm UTC

Apparently there are more germs on a door handle than on a toilet seat.
From now on I'm opening the door with my arsehole.

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Vanessa15*
posted a quote
July 25, 2013 4:24am UTC

That moment when you realize your friends
profile picture was taken on the toilet.

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nothing Important*
posted a quote
November 7, 2013 6:26pm UTC

My favorite place is read about gossip is on the toilet because that's where all the s.hit belongs

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RejectedGamer
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 2:43am UTC

I'm in my room and my cousins are over.
i need to pee.
but i dont want to leave my room.
I'm drinking water as i write this.
fück my life.

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sapphireflames*
posted a quote
August 9, 2013 1:45pm UTC

when you're in the bathroom
and you hear your favorite tv show come on and you're like
HOLD UP IM COMIN IM COMIN

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ItsRachaelxo
posted a quote
October 28, 2013 5:29pm UTC

Does anyone else ever get distracted on your phone while sitting on the toilet and you end up sitting there for about half an hour

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Bitter_Sweet
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 11:35am UTC

Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: You should've gone during break.
Student: Oh. I'm sorry. I havn't planned out my pee schedule today.
Student (2): Oooooh, you might wanna put some ice on that buuuurn.

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Marz_Barca
posted a quote
January 19, 2014 4:04pm UTC

katyapryde:
My cousin has two deaf parents and just posted
"You don't know the struggle until you run out of toilet paper and everyone in your house is deaf."
and I'm laughing reALLY HARD
nmq/tis tumblr's

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fighting_to_live
posted a quote
September 17, 2013 10:47am UTC

I'm not ready to be an adult, can't I just go back to the times when going to the toilet on time by myself was an achievement and when my only worry was trying to watch winnie the pooh on time or trying to figure out which shoe goes on which foot.
I'm seriously not ready to grow up

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heartofstones
posted a quote
March 31, 2014 3:20pm UTC

5 things you never want to heartofstones your roommate say:
" We're gonna party so hard this year"
"I have lice"
"I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet"
"I think I forgot to lock the door when I left"
"I SAW A BEDBUG!!!!!!!!"

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XxKrista_RosexX
posted a quote
July 11, 2014 12:01pm UTC

So you just assume that since im sleeping, that you should unplug my computer cause I dont need it at that point in time?
Next time you go eat mexican food I'm going to assume you dont need the toilets and disassemble them.
Kay?

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moonlight_magic02
posted a quote
February 7, 2013 10:47pm UTC

The inventor of the toilet
is Thomas Crapper
#FoReal

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FighterFS
posted a quote
July 11, 2013 2:12pm UTC

3 things you dont realise how much you need untill you lose them:
1) toilet paper
2) internet connection
3) bed

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Best Toilet Quotes Ever