Best Student Quotes This Year

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 30, 2013 2:54pm UTC

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: I'm late?
Teacher: You just missed an entire period
Student: Are you telling me that I'm pregnant?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 313 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 3:34pm UTC

Teacher: What's something you can't see or feel?
Student: Air
Me: Wifi

👍 this is good · read the comments · 195 points

Rajsonkar
posted a quote
July 13, 2013 9:09pm UTC

Teacher to student:
Can you define
a LECTURER?
Student: A LECTURER is a
person who has a
very bad
habit of speaking when
someone is sleeping.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 183 points

Rajsonkar
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 4:23am UTC

Question by a student !!
If a single teacher can’t
teach us all the
subjects,
Then…
How could you expect a
single student
to learn all subjects ?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 139 points

carson5482
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 2:26pm UTC

Teacher: "I am beautiful." What tense is this?
Student: Obviously past.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 72 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
July 21, 2013 6:38pm UTC

Teacher: Email me the assignment by Monday.
Teacher: I'll need your email address.
Me:
Teacher:
Me:
Teacher:
Me:
Teacher:
Me:
Teacher:
Me: beatdemhoes69@aol.com

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 65 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:32pm UTC

Teacher: "Why can I hear
you talking?"
Student: "Because you have ears."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 62 points

Rajsonkar
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 8:24pm UTC

One of the best
misconception in school/
college life:
Teachers think sending
student out of the class is a
punishment...
formatcredit- rajsonkar

👍 this is good · read the comments · 56 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
July 21, 2013 6:41pm UTC

Me: *sneezes*
Everyone:
Someone else: *sneezes*
Teacher: Bless you
Students: Bless you
Principal: Bless you
Class Hamster: Bless you
Jesus: Bless you
God: Bless you
Tupac: Bless you

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 56 points

lovefree15
posted a quote
August 25, 2013 2:35pm UTC

1. I just realized that "never" is a contraction of "not ever"
2. and "blush" is a contraction of "blood rush"
3.also "studying" is a contraction of "student dying"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 46 points

Plusle_N_Minun
posted a quote
May 21, 2013 9:24pm UTC

So I had to go into a kindergarten class to deliver some papers to the teacher
But I could see she was in the middle of a lesson so I waited.
The lesson was about learning about people's nationalities.
And where they came from.
She went around the room asking each student what their nationality is.
Each student replied proudly:
"American!" "Chinese!" "Italian!" "Mexican!" "Japanese!" "Dutch!"
She came around to the last student and asked him what his nationality was.
He seemed confused or uncertain of his answer.
But in a proud voice he said:
"I am Human."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 38 points

Pack619
posted a quote
September 9, 2013 12:05pm UTC

Teacher: Wheres your book?
Me: At home..
Teacher: Whats it doing at home?
Me:Its a BOOK.What do you think its doing at home?Nothing!
Teacher:
Me:
Class:
Teacher:Well bring it in next lesson!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 45 points

Asking_Alexis
posted a quote
October 8, 2013 10:45pm UTC

*4th Period*
Me: *Whispering* Thanks for the dollar.
Cousin: *Whispering* The drugs are in the locker.
Teacher: *Also whispering* Until I turn you into the office.
Cousin: I was just kidding!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points

butterfly_love
posted a quote
November 1, 2013 10:34am UTC

If a barber makes a mistake, it's a new style.
If a scientist makes a mistake, it's a new invention.
If a teacher makes a mistake, it's a new theory.
If a student makes a mistake, it's a mistake...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 23 points

Golfish27
posted a quote
September 12, 2013 7:48am UTC

HUMANS SPEND A THIRD OF THEIR LIFE SLEEPING
I THINK IT WOULD BE A HALF IF WE HAD GOT NO EXAMS

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

amber_bubbles_98
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 6:07am UTC

TEACHER: Why didn't you study?
STUDENT: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days...You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday. That's why I did not study.
Teacher: ...
Teacher: Class dismissed
#stolen

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

phee
posted a quote
March 19, 2015 4:24pm UTC

teacher: where is your homework?
student: ohhh written in the starss!
teacher: where is it?
student: a million miles away
teacher:*sigh*what did you write about?
student: message to the main, ohhhh
teacher: do you want to go to summer school?
student: seasons come and go!
teacher: change your attitude!
student: but i will never change.
teacher: go to the headteacher's office!
student: i'm on my wayyyyyyyyyy!
teacher: wait...isn't that a song?...
stu dent: (take s off earplugs)
WHAT?!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 18 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
August 15, 2013 8:10pm UTC

Teacher: *hands out test*
Me: *sits there for ten minutes*
Teacher: Hand your tests in.
Me: YOU DIDN'T SAY START!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

234325fdsazgdg*
posted a quote
September 11, 2013 11:52am UTC

{If school is not the
place to sleep,
then home is not
the place to study.}

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

factsandstuff
posted a quote
June 30, 2013 6:38pm UTC

Teacher: Where's your book?!
Me: At home.
Teacher: And what's it doing there?
Me: Having more fun than me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

Witty Profiles

Best Student Quotes This Year