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Santa is dangerous.
Before you let the man in red into your home,
READ THIS;
- he drinks and drives. if he has a small glass of alcohol at every house, after about one million homes he would be way, WAY over the legal limit.
- he breaks and enters. through the chimney.
- he flies thousands of feet up in the air but is never seen wearing a helmet or seatbelt for safety. what is he fell? santa would DIE, kiddies. DIE. that is just irresponsible.
- he enslaves cute little elves and forces them to make presents in sweatshops. merry little elf sweatshops.
- he is morbidly obese. this is a bad influence on children.
- he creeps into little kids rooms at night to 'give them toys". 0_0
- taking time zones into account, Santa has around 31 hours to deliver about 700 million presents. to accomplish this, his sleigh would have to be travelling at around 1,000 miles a second. This is hardcore speeding.
- if you rearrange "s-a-n-t-a", it spells "s-a-t-a-n". 'nuff said.


 


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Santa is dangerous. Before you let the man in red into your home,

431 faves · 12 comments · Dec 2, 2011 3:30am

BlackButterflies

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BlackButterflies


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Breeze · 1 decade ago
Is it called breaking and entering? If nothing was broken? Or do chimneys have hatches on them? Sorry. My house doesn't really have a chimney. Santa drinks alcohol? 31 hours to give presents... It's probably right (can't be bothered to try check because I'm not sure how you could do it...)
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SaYWhaTTx3 · 1 decade ago
I take it that you don't celebrate Christmas o_O
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XxPeaceLuvHappinessxX · 1 decade ago
my childhood has been destryed.. and yeah he drinks milk? nott alchol..?
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TureenPiromari_NumbaOneLakersFan · 1 decade ago
LMFAO made my wholee day (: Satan hee.. hee hee ^_^
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khushhx0x · 1 decade ago
he has a smalll glass of alcohol at every house? i thought it was milk? wtf..confused!
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143Belieber · 1 decade ago
gee thanks bro.
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trisbear1 · 1 decade ago
this just like ruined my childhood.
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x0XojEsS · 1 decade ago
i no this is a joke but im sure little kids r on here so dont make them scared of christmas.
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chubbybunny20 · 1 decade ago
and he's watching you when you're sleeping o_o
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tishfayeobrienmwahh · 1 decade ago
this made me wee!
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EmilyBeth05 · 1 decade ago
Oh god. -__-
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sally101 · 1 decade ago
lmao... ^.^
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