Quotes added on Thursday, March 20 2014

Loki*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:03pm UTC

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
“Not yet,” said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he’s a little pis$ed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
“How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.
“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, “You gonna tell him or should I?”

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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capsized*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:07pm UTC

when people try to make me feel bad for listening to one direction i just stare at them blankly because i can’t, and never will, comprehend how or why anyone would want to put me down for having something in my life that brings me happiness without fail every single day

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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capsized*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:10pm UTC

“Nothing’s changed. You’ll go home. You’ll be bored. You’ll be ignored. No one will listen to you, really listen to you. You’re too clever and too quiet for them to understand.”
— Neil Gaiman ”

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mtndewhm*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:18pm UTC

The weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of:
A. Indifference or
B. Disinterest in what the critics say

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Morgan*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:30pm UTC

Thingboutme #27:I'm extremely positive. The other day, my friend told me to tell my crush that I like him, and then my other friend said he had a girlfriend and I said "At least now I won't get rejected."

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Virginia Doran*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:36pm UTC

You are your own worst enemy

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capsized*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:38pm UTC

imagine if you had to say every thought you had out loud

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:39pm UTC

My mom accidently wrote that she is my spouse on her taxes.
This is a conversation I never thought I'd have.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:43pm UTC

I remember learning in high school biology that I share 50% of DNA with a banana
and sometimes I really feel it.

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capsized*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:46pm UTC

“Addiction is tricky. For example: a man who quit smoking for 11 years spent 15 seconds in an elevator with a man smoking a cigarette. He gave in.
What I’m trying to say is I think I love you again.”
♥

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xxnevershoutnever
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:48pm UTC

if you think music can't save
a life, then you've never needed your life saved.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:51pm UTC

There are two things I take seriously in life.
NFL and beer pong

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S E R I N A ♡*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 4:58pm UTC

Your first love...
Your first love isnt always the first person you kiss,
or the person you date.
Your first love is the person youll always compare everyone to.
The person that you will never truly get over,
even when you've convinced yourself youve moved
on.

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capsized*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 5:02pm UTC

I need to tell all my friends I love them. I love you

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capsized*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 5:05pm UTC

people who are annoying and talented are my least favourite kind of people

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Carla Crahan.*
posted a quote
March 20, 2014 5:13pm UTC

me: Hazel and Gus today, Hazel and Gus tomorrow, Hazel and Gus fo-
John Green: hahahahahahahahaha no.

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Witty Profiles

Quotes added on Thursday, March 20 2014