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fungirl
posted a quote
June 14, 2013 1:08pm UTC

ABORTION
It doesn't make you "unpregnant".
It just makes you the mother of a
Dead Baby.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 316 points

kylaz323
posted a quote
April 8, 2012 7:20pm UTC

Jasmine
Dear "Cool People",
They didn't name a candy after you, did they?
Sincearly, Nerds.
Like • Comment • 29 minutes ago
Sarah Sure they did, it's called Airheads.
28 minutes ago · Like
~Unfriendable

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2118 points

IJustLikedYourQuote
posted a quote
March 27, 2012 4:02pm UTC

Would you wear socks if you had no feet?
No...?
Then why do you wear a bra?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2091 points

biamontet1
posted a quote
March 28, 2012 4:22pm UTC

If students secretly think teachers are hot
I wonder,
if teachers secertly think students are hot?
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2092 points

_to_the_kids_who
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:32pm UTC

Here's to the kids who
have ever texted laying down and dropped their phone on their face.
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2235 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
February 6, 2012 4:29pm UTC

Pretty girl: omg, i am so ugly
Everyone: oh precious child, you are a gorgeous human being, you are God's gift to humanity, you wonderful creature
Me:omg, i am so ugly
235 people like this

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2107 points

mustaches_
posted a quote
February 13, 2012 8:24pm UTC

me: who wants to be my valentine?
world: *silence*
me: okay now let's not all shout at once

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2116 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 1, 2012 2:14pm UTC

I wish I could take every kid
that looks in the mirror and says
"I'm not beautiful"
and get them to see what it takes to look like those people in magazines,
they would feel so much better about themselves,
because those photos aren't real..
-Miley Cyrus

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2188 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
February 22, 2012 9:44am UTC

Fuckerr's signature format. Please don't remove credit. Or I will hunt you down. You do NOT want to get on my bad side.
Am I the only one
Who will spend 20 minutes trying to get my messy bun perfect?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2148 points

BellaSwan14
posted a quote
April 16, 2012 4:26pm UTC

A 50 year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class." Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person." Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.
----------♥----------

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2313 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 6:30pm UTC

I wanna see what the most Popular age group on
Witty is,
Fave if you are 14 or younger
Comment if you are 15 or older
nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2301 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 11, 2012 4:34pm UTC

kids at my school: i like to smoke weed and get high and i also like to smoke cigarettes.
me: sometimes when it's cold, i like to breathe really heavy and pretend i'm a dragon.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2172 points

Sunny1703
posted a quote
July 15, 2012 3:18pm UTC

I bet there's going to be more teenagers;
at the premiere of Monsters Inc. 2 than little kids.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2457 points

glitterspaz143
posted a quote
March 15, 2012 4:04pm UTC

♥ t h i s i f y o u l o v e
y o u r d a d d y.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2221 points

Oliviaxo
posted a quote
June 30, 2012 10:07am UTC

Here's to the girls
that joined witty, BEFORE One Direction took over.
~
nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2474 points

.*
posted a quote
February 23, 2012 8:32am UTC

Today 30 people
from my school
were suspended.
Why??
Because they all either shaved their hair or dyed it
for Cancer.
Click the <3 if yiou think they shouldn't be suspended.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2316 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 12, 2012 7:35pm UTC

I was late to school on Friday
The guy on the 'late sheet'
before me put:
"Saving the world."
as his excuse, so I wrote
"Destroying the world."
as mine. I came in later to
find the next person had wrote
"Innocent bystander."
IT WAS EPIC.
I love my school.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2389 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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bgsoccer93
posted a quote
March 26, 2012 4:07pm UTC

Louis: 4 sisters
Zayn: 3 sisters
Liam: 2 sisters
Harry: 1 sister
Niall: a brother
______________
Louis: right handed
Zayn: right handed
Liam: right handed
Harry: right handed
Niall: left handed
______________
Louis: British
Zayn: British
Liam: British
Harry: British
Niall: Irish
Cause Niall's a special snowflake.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3259 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
February 17, 2012 2:53pm UTC

Hold your cursor over this quote
if your name is Brianna.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3261 points

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