samicrab's Favorites

Basketballer100
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 4:35pm UTC

When God made me: Hmm... I'll add 3 tablespoons each of computer addicted and socially awkward.

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Fuzzybird2
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 9:37am UTC

We'll be the old ladies
causing trouble in the nursing home.
format credit RaeIsAwesome

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AlwaysMyself
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 4:27pm UTC

At night,
i cant sleep,
in the morning,
i cant wake up.

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goofball527
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 3:36pm UTC

at the store: shoes are so comfy, can walk perfectly
at home: blisters, redness, shoes are a torture device
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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Christa133
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 6:08pm UTC

Bully at school: Why are you so fat?
Me: Why do skinny chicks who have eating disorders say what?
Her: What?
Me:Exactly.

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peacegirl270
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 9:53pm UTC

That awkward moment when somebody is doing
the dishes and you slowly put another dish in the
sink...

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annalove26
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 9:55pm UTC

I exercised once but found I am allergic to it.
My skin flushed and my heart raced.
I got sweaty and short of breath.
Very dangerous.
I do not recommend.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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SuperLuiGi
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 11:53am UTC

The most thing that i hate about exams
is that when you forget the answer but you remember
how it looked like in the book.
mq

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doublesidedice
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 3:43pm UTC

If a guy randomly asks me...
"do I know you from somewhere?"
I'm going to respond with...
"We'll you should! We have a son!"
That'd make my day...the look he would wear on his face!?
Priceless xD

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pizzaperson
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 3:10pm UTC

Relatable Post #4760
Dear Kit Kat commercial,
How come when I break
Kit Kats they don't sound like that?
- Concerned Customer
nmq

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goofball527
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 3:30pm UTC

i bet the popcorn gets hot and embarresed so
it tries to escape by jumping around and suddenly it turns into something yummy for us to eat. yum

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Sabina*
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 3:57pm UTC

Today is National Animal Day.
Please take a moment and remember your Ex.

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Fuzzybird2
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 10:01am UTC

I had a friend define "having no life."
He said:
Eating
then sleeping
then sitting at a laptop for 10 hours in your parents basement
then eating
and then sleeping.
Is it just me or is this how I've lived for the last 5 years???

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DoneAwayWithDrama
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 8:44pm UTC

One time I burped in front of this guy and he asked me out the next day....
And they say burping is unattractive.

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...*
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 9:08pm UTC

Yesterday...
I got a new pair of sneakers
I forgot they were converse and not my wheelies
I was trying to slide on the "wheels"
And I landed on my face.

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 9:45pm UTC

Boy: Will you be my valentine?
Me: What?
Boy: Will you be my valentine?
Me: What kind of sick joke is this?
Boy: What?
Me: Did my mother pay you? Give the money back, sicko! *runs and hides with sniper*

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idciamme
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 1:46pm UTC

I notice everything,
I just act like I don't.

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 5:58pm UTC

Normal girls good hair day: *manageable hair, easy to brush, falls beautiful on their shoulders*
My good hair day: *can brush a few strands*

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jezzay
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 8:54pm UTC

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he neverlands.
I love this joke because it never grows old.

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samicrab