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  1. l0v3lyeyes_ l0v3lyeyes_
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2012 5:19pm UTC
    Walmart: Hey, let's buy 30 cash registers and only keep 2 open.

  2. fgfg735 fgfg735
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2012 4:27pm UTC
    Reasons people watch mens swimming in the olympics-
    10%- to actually watch the sport
    90%- to see hot shritless guys with their nice abs

  3. AwesomeUsername AwesomeUsername
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2012 4:06pm UTC
    Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.

  4. HakunaMatata_ HakunaMatata_
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2012 4:13pm UTC
    Welcome to High School
    pick two:
    good grades, enough sleep, a social life.

  5. KrissyMchotness KrissyMchotness
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2012 11:47pm UTC
    Yesterday
    I was at the mall & accidently dropped my water bottle
    Without thinking, I yelled
    "My water broke!"
    The looks I got = Priceless


  6. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  7. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2012 4:42am UTC
    I would never cheat in a relationship
    because that would require two people to find me attractive.

  8. darastarring* darastarring*
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2012 3:27pm UTC
    Younger sibling's friend comes over
    =
    Gathering my stuff, some food and water, and hiding in my room all day.

  9. heysoulsister heysoulsister
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2012 11:02pm UTC
    I hate when people say:
    You're not a 90's kid if you were born in 1997, 1998 or 1999.
    I was born in 1998. I used to watch Kim Possible, Hey Arnold, Recess, The power puff girls, Spongebob, Rugrats, Arthur, Clifford the big red dog, That's so raven, banana's in pajamas etc. I know how to rap the whole Fresh prince of bel air rap on the spot. I used to draw those weird S's everywhere. Those pencils where you lost one led the whole pencil was fu/ked. Home alone is STILL my all time favourite movie. I went on to windows 95 only for paint. I had a gameboy colour. B*tch please.
    nmf :), just really liked it.

  10. Larii Larii
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2012 8:02pm UTC
    That akward moment
    When you get no likes so you delete your status.

  11. LandonIsWitty LandonIsWitty
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2012 8:31pm UTC
    Dear girl reading this right now,
    I see that you have tan lines and imprefect skin. I understand that you want to be perfect, and you want 'him' to notice you. You don't see the beauty in your personality. You think you're boring. You've lost a friend before, and it made you feel a little bit worthless. You don't love your eyes, or your nose, or your weight. You don't always believe in yourself or your dreams. But you know what? I do. I believe in you! I love you the way you are, and i never want you to change for ANYONE. So if you ever feel worthless, come talk to me. I really will listen. I love you. Not the person you're pretending to be, but the actual you that's been hiding all this time. So maybe while you read this, you smiled. Just a little. And it wasn't fake at all. If i could make just one girl smile, then the makes everything worth it. Goodbye, darling. Stay beautiful.
    -Sincerely, Landon

  12. f0r3v3rm0r3x3 f0r3v3rm0r3x3
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2010 7:27pm UTC
    We met in kindergarten. We were best friends.
    She always told me she loved my eyes. I didn't quite know why.
    I was in love with her, so of course my face lit up immensely whenever she said it.
    She was beautiful, kind, and extremely funny.
    We'd be talking about nothing, and she'd turn to me and whisper,
    "I like your eyes."
    One day, I was playing basketball,
    waiting for her to drive over to my house to have a game with me.
    Suddenly, I got a phone call.
    It was her mom. She was in a panic.
    I couldn't quite understand what she was saying. It sounded like,
    "Aaron, come quick! Kelsey, accident, Main Street! Blood. Come now!"
    I had no clue what happened,
    so I ran to Main Street with my basketball shorts and a tee shirt on.
    I saw Kelsey's mom helplessly crying, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
    I saw a totaled car, blood everywhere.
    Then I saw her, Kelsey.
    My heart stopped as I frantically ran over to her.
    "Kelsey? Kelsey!" She was unconscious. I started crying.
    I know it isn't very manly, but I couldn't help it.
    Before I could say anymore, the medics took her away,
    the main source of blood coming from her head.
    I went to the hospital that night,
    I went every night.
    in fact, the only time I left was to go out to eat, but that's it.
    The doctors tried getting me to leave, but I refused.
    It was all my fault.
    If it wasn't for me, wanting to play basketball with her,
    she wouldn't be going through this.
    It was already four days, and she hasn't woken up.
    On the fifth day, I saw her eyes gently open.
    "Kelsey?" I called.
    She wasn't quite awake yet.
    Suddenly, doctors came rushing in, telling me I had to wait outside.
    I did, for a few hours.
    One of the doctors finally came out saying,
    "I understand that you're Kelsey's friend, Aaron?"
    "Yes," I whispered.
    He bit his lip.
    "She woke up, she's fine,
    but I'm afraid she has long term memory loss."
    "Are you serious?" I almost shouted.
    "I'm afraid so."
    I didn't meet his gaze. I couldn't.
    I wasn't going to say anything, so he spoke again.
    "You can go see her if you want,
    but she doesn't remember anything, not even her mom."
    I walked in, trembling in horror.
    I saw her. She looked helpless as she slept.
    I waited a few hours, until I saw her eyes opening gently again.
    I expected doctors to run in, rushing me out.
    Instead, she looked me straight in the eyes, and whispered,
    "I don't know you, but I like your eyes."

  13. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 7:16pm UTC
    "I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 40, is that bad?"
    ''You spelt dad wrong."

  14. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 5:06pm UTC
    me: i'll just go on witty a few minutes before bed
    me:
    me:
    me:
    me: is that the sun

  15. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 5:14pm UTC
    normal flirting: hey you're pretty cute and funny and nice how bout we hang out ;)
    me flirting: i love you like a pig loves not being bacon ;)

  16. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 4:33pm UTC
    Below is a list of all those who have a crush on me:
    format by jimmy365

  17. smluvsart smluvsart
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 5:25pm UTC
    did you know #29
    THAT THERE IS A CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLED 'GO THE F*CK TO SLEEP'
    (the author created it when his 2 year-old daughter wouldn't go to sleep)
    should i do a series?

  18. AlNicholas AlNicholas
    posted a quote
    May 14, 2012 6:15pm UTC
    you thought this was
    ✉ 50 comments
    ❤ 197 add to faves
    Quote # 5365561 was added by society to funny on 14 May 2012 at 4:19pm
    share: facebook / stumbleupon / tumblr
    get code
    report
    two seperate quotes, right?

  19. pleasespeaktomyface pleasespeaktomyface
    posted a quote
    May 14, 2012 3:19pm UTC
    what i if told you
    that you read the top line wrong?

  20. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    May 14, 2012 3:11pm UTC
    Me: I'll turn my iPod on shuffle!
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: No.
    Me: Yes.

:)

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