lyinglittlewho's Favorites

happiest*
posted a quote
January 18, 2014 3:14pm UTC

little kids are either cute and sweet or evil and annoying there is no in between

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happiest*
posted a quote
January 18, 2014 3:21pm UTC

i love when you listen to a new song and you’re like three seconds in and youre already like yes this pleases me it is mine

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CatchYourPandas
posted a quote
January 18, 2014 4:50pm UTC

Omega 3 - Warning
ConsumerGuides.Com
We tried them all. Here is the only one we recommend.
.
💚 0 discuss
♡ 0 fave it
CatchYourPandas posted this quote to imfunny, 3 minutes ago
Bet you thought the ad above this quote was real.
double quote format by breeze

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Lmirela589
posted a quote
January 18, 2014 6:30pm UTC

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep

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A_big_white_van_
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 7:34pm UTC

Want some candy?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 41 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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weezemegeeze
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 12:31pm UTC

Me: Time to post my first quote!
Me: It's my first quote so it has to be good
Me: Hmmm what can I post?
Me: ...
Me: ...
My cat: ...
Me ...
Me: Yeah I got nothing,
Me: I'll just post this.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

T*
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 2:22pm UTC

That moment when you're comfortably dozing in bed and suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, realising that you haven't done your homework yet.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

iLL-Legal Alien👽*
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 2:29pm UTC

The awkward moment when a chair you're sitting on
makes a farting noise
and you cant make it do it again to
prove it wasn't you.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points

ImAwesome12345678
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 5:34pm UTC

friend: hey I like this dude, what should I do?
me: ask the magic conch

👍 this is good · read the comments · 28 points

Repair Boy 🔥*
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 7:05pm UTC

If I make you breakfast in bed a simple
"Thank you" Is all i need
Not all this
"How did you get in my house" business.

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*crybaby*
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 9:16pm UTC

they should invent
a treadmill
with a laptop built in
and unless you were walking, the internet wouldn't work
like you had to be walking on it, you can't just trick it and stand on the sides
i would lose so much weight
the faster you go the faster the wifi

👍 this is good · read the comments · 57 points

cocopuffs
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 9:25pm UTC

Substitute Teacher: Does you're teacher normally let you do this?
Students: Yes...

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SubsidingOne
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 10:34pm UTC

My therapist told me the best way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you started
so far I"ve finished off 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

DunGoofed
posted a quote
January 18, 2014 9:51am UTC

I tell Witty quotes to my family and friends so they think I have a sense of humor and that I'm poetic and deep.

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bri_
posted a quote
January 18, 2014 11:29am UTC

can i slap you with a fish?
or would that be rude?

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OliviaMoustachesUnicorns
posted a quote
January 18, 2014 11:43am UTC

I appreciate whoever let girls into the army because girl on period + gun = unstoppable

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KayleighJean
posted a quote
January 18, 2014 12:52pm UTC

I have great respect for those people
who still jog even when its pouring, snowing, and below zero
because I can barely jog even when it's absolutely beautiful out

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 26 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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cocopuffs
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 9:32pm UTC

Fries before guys
all foods before dudes

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points

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lyinglittlewho