hypnotizedbydrums's Favorites

xoxocynthia
posted a quote
June 29, 2011 9:53pm UTC

Imagine
if you called a wrong number, and the person you called was a celebrity
-Hello? Mom?
-No. This is Lady Gaga.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 6313 points

OMGIMATACO
posted a quote
June 15, 2011 10:48pm UTC

them:were you dropped as a baby?
me:yea, into a pool of sexy

👍 this is good · read the comments · 7460 points

noahwood123
posted a quote
August 9, 2011 10:30pm UTC

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We should be able to text 911, in case were hiding from a cereal killer and don't want them to hear us.
.
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👍 this is good · read the comments · 7798 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 5, 2012 5:39pm UTC

Sometimes I want to go to another country
just to be the new kid with the awesome accent.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1325 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 5, 2012 8:39pm UTC

I wonder if I'm single because
because I didn't forwardall those chain messages....

👍 this is good · read the comments · 371 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 5, 2012 9:29pm UTC

When I was kid,
"You're not invited to my party"
was the worst insult, ever.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 800 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 5, 2012 10:19pm UTC

I don't always get asked out on a date.
but when I do, it's April 1st.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1068 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 6, 2012 3:58pm UTC

"so no one at my friend's old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike, wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. he rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1531 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 6, 2012 5:38pm UTC

teacher: you should know this, you learned it in elementary school!
me: b*tch, i barley remember what I did an hour ago.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 915 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 7, 2012 3:20pm UTC

Leonardo DiCaprio never died in Titanic.
Last scene: him going underwater.
1st Scene in Inception: he wakes up on a beach

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1408 points

ILoveStarWars
posted a quote
April 19, 2012 4:15pm UTC

Selena Gomez: Wouldn't wanna be anybody else.
Me: Why would you wanna be anyone else? You're famous, and your banging Bieber.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points

KrissyMchotness
posted a quote
April 19, 2012 4:16pm UTC

Shoutout to my boyfriend
in the hospital
with a severe case of nonexistance(:

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

LoveMexXx
posted a quote
April 18, 2012 4:58pm UTC

&& who else lovesthe smell of gasonline? nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 410 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
April 18, 2012 3:05pm UTC

Jenny Tanning naked, well because, you know, YOLO.
39 minutes ago · comment · like
Mark Where!
17 minutes ago ago · Like
Mark Don't get excited. My autocorrect changed if from wh0re.
17 minutes ago ago · Like

👍 this is good · read the comments · 616 points