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enchanting_

chocomickey14
posted a quote
February 22, 2013 12:12pm UTC

i hate how steve works so hard to update Witty and then everyone likes "omg i hate the new layout" like shut your pie hole steve worked hard on it

👍 this is good · read the comments · 137 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
February 22, 2013 2:51pm UTC

Me: I wish I had a toilet and sink in the corner of my room so I wouldn't have to walk all the way to the bathroom.
Friend: That's a prison cell
Me: In prison your food gets cooked for you, as well. I'm beginning to think that murdering people I don't like wouldn't be such a bad thing.
Friend: You do realize that we're in public and a police officer might be around
Me: Oh no, what are they going to do? Send me to prison?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 395 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 9:58am UTC

I’m the type of
person who
looks at the menu for
five minutes but
ends up
ordering the same
exact thing
every time
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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jimboslice3
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 3:46pm UTC

Me telling a story
Me: I have to tell you this story about-
Me: *Starts laughing*
Me: *Deep breath*
Me: Ok so there was this...
Me: *Starts laughing*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 142 points

sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 7:06pm UTC

WHY ARE THEY CALLED TEA PARTIES
WE COULD LITERALLY JUST CALL THEM PARTEAS OMG
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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TaintedCorruption
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 2:15pm UTC

Sister: What's a pedestrian?
Me: Ask mom.
Sister: I can't it sounds dirty.
Me: Fine...YOU'RE THE BIGGEST PEDESTRIAN I EVER SEEN!
Sister: MOM SHE CALLED ME A PEDESTRIAN.
Mom: But you are a pedestrain
Sister: *cries*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1115 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 1:33pm UTC

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW NED IS SURVIVING HIGH SCHOOL?
I HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD FROM HIM SINCE THE END OF EIGHTH GRADE AND I'M STARTING TO WORRY

👍 this is good · read the comments · 923 points

1D_FanFics
posted a quote
January 1, 2013 9:09am UTC

Imagine for Julie
You and Niall had a little baby boy a few months ago, and almost every night he would wake up crying.You woke up to crying coming from the cot at the end of your bed.You looked at your phone and sighed, it was 3am.You got Liam out of his cot and walked with him out of the room so you didnt wake up Niall.”Shhhh, its okay Liam mummy's here” You said trying to calm him down, but he just wouldn't settle.”Julie let me take him.”Niall said looking half asleep but still managing to look like an Irish god.Carefully you laid Liam in his arms, and stumbled back into bed.As you drifted off to sleep, you could hear the faint sound of Niall singing little things to your son.

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1D_FanFics
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 8:08pm UTC

I'm not the girl that gets all the guys.
I'm not the girl that gets told she's beautiful everyday.
I'm not the girl everyone wants to talk to.
I'm the girl that says the wrong things, is awkward, and is maybe even a little weird.
But I'm okay with that, because that's me.
And I like me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

1D_FanFics
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 6:58pm UTC

Imagine for Julie
'I miss you Nialler'. You were on skype with your boyfriend Niall Horan and today was your one year anniversary.'I miss you too babe, it's so lonely on the tour bus without you, I have to go now babe'. As Niall logged off you started to cry, it had been months since you last spoke face to face and now you had to spend your anniversary alone.You look down at your phone to see a text from your friend Danielle telling you to meet her at Nandos.When you reached Nandos all the lights were off and there was a note on the door saying 'wait inside ~D', as you step inside you here a guitar playing and you can see a figure sitting at a table, as you get closer you realise its Niall, you run up to him and hug him with tears streaming down your face. 'Suprise babe' Niall whispers into your ear as you cry out ' I love you Niall', 'I love you too babe'.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points

1D_FanFics
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 6:36pm UTC

Imagine...
You're at your best friend's, Harry Styles, house watching movies and eating popcorn when suddenly your phone blows up with hundreds of twitter notifications with people tweeting you saying '#staystrong' & 'I feel so sorry for you'. As you stare down at your phone in shock Harry turns to you and says' Whats wrong babe?'.
'H-he ch-cheated on m-me' you suddenly brake down into tears as Harry picks up your phone to see pictures of your boyfriend kissing four other girls.As Harry pulls you into a hug he whispers to you 'How could he cheat on someone as beautiful as you..'. You looked up at him as he sighs and tells you ' I know this is bad timing but I love you, I have since we first met, I would of said something sooner but you seemed so happy with Ethan'. As your eyes meet with harrys you pull him closer and kiss him, 'I love you too Harry, I just thought you liked someone else'. You spend the rest of the night curled up in each others arms.

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1D_FanFics
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 6:24pm UTC

No boyfriend November and Don't date December were a success.
Should I go for Just me January? Forever alone February? No man March?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

1D_FanFics
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 6:11pm UTC

That awkward moment when kids younger than you have a more interesting love life.

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1D_FanFics
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 6:00pm UTC

My New Year's resolution is to not sit at the computer as much...
I'll try to stand and type aswell.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

*Into the Midnight Show*
posted a quote
November 21, 2012 7:24pm UTC

wittyprofiles.tumblr.com
Do You like cats?
Anonymous
Steve: No. Cats like me.
Ask wittyprofiles a question
Well Played...

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 38 points

Steve
posted a quote
June 19, 2012 9:36am UTC

You die twice.
Once when your physical body dies and once more when your name is spoken for the last time.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2582 points

WeAreTheBoys
posted a quote
November 19, 2012 6:31pm UTC

Teacher: "Why are your eyes so red?"
Student: "Oh um, allergies."
Teacher: "Ohh really, and what are you allergic to?"
Student: "Weed...s..."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 628 points

Meowcat
posted a quote
November 19, 2012 5:21pm UTC

Instead of getting periods,
girls should just get a text from mother nature saying "You're not pregnant, have a nice day,"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 259 points

bye*
posted a quote
November 19, 2012 5:32pm UTC

i was in a hospital today and i saw this cute boy with a cast on his leg and my first thought was
hey this one can't run away

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1766 points

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