cookiemonster95's Favorites

whereismymind
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 11:03am UTC

Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13-year old, and a 17- year old, that caused 6 deaths.
sincerely, everyone who actually read it.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

whereismymind
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 11:19am UTC

parents: you spend so much time on the computer. its like your addicted.
me: fine, can i go out?
parents: no

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

oneofakinddanielle
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 12:35pm UTC

50% of me: "I love dresses and flowers and pretty things."
Other 50% of me: " I love tattoos and hardcore music and concerts and skinny jeans."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

oneofakinddanielle
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 12:41pm UTC

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 97 points

brillt27
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 1:22pm UTC

interviewer: do you have any weaknesses?
me: bullets
interviewer: no, i mean-
me: knives
interviewer: i don't think y-
me: probably evil dragons
interviewer:
me:
interviewer:
me: focusing.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

goawayanthony*
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 2:03pm UTC

The cool part about about naming your kid is you don't have to add six numbers
to make sure the name is available

👍 this is good · read the comments · 16 points

LaylaTheAwesome
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 2:25pm UTC

Call/text when you are on your way.
Potassium.
WTF?? Autocorrect get ya?
Nope on the periodic table, the symbol for potassium is K.
OMG you are such a nerd!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

DeathOfASon
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 1:46pm UTC

why are my parents always like
“go to bed." i am in bed. im always in bed. you go to bed. stop talking to me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

DeathOfASon
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 1:49pm UTC

Friend: go ask
Me: no you go ask
Friend: no you
Me: fine can i have ketchup

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

greyskies
posted a quote
July 24, 2013 2:21am UTC

If you don't know the difference between "there", "their" and "they're", your a moron.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 14 points

ans2125
posted a quote
July 24, 2013 11:51am UTC

After an hour of gathering up his courage, a shy guy finally approaches the hot girl at the end of the bar. "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!"
Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."
To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a BJ?"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

AnaCastro196
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 5:10pm UTC

Im not saying I hate you, im
just saying if you got hit by
a bus... I would be driving
that bus

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 39 points

kiaraashford
posted a quote
July 22, 2013 10:36pm UTC

One week ago we were
sending eachother hearts
and now we are
nothing......:'(

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
July 23, 2013 9:24am UTC

THE RULES FOR DATING MY
DAUGHTER
1. Get a job.
2. Understand that I don't like you.
3. I'm everywhere.
4. You hurt her, I hurt you.
5. Be home 30 minutes early.
6. Get a lawyer.
7. If you lie to me, I will find out.
8. She's my princess, not your conquest.
9. I don't mind going back to jail.
10. Whatever you do to her, I will do to you.
9. I don't mind going back
to jail.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 69 points

Evil_Cupcake21
posted a quote
July 24, 2013 11:05am UTC

Is it wrong for me to want to be with him again, even if he is in another state?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 9 points

chelsearay6545
posted a quote
July 24, 2013 3:45pm UTC

He met you.
He got your number.
He started talking to you.
He got to know you.
He became your friend.
He started to like you.
He loved talking to you.
He started to chase you.
He wanted to spend time with you.
He started missing you.
He made you fall.
He wanted you.
He got it in with you.
He became more than a friend.
He finally got you.
He fell in love with you.
He couldn't stopped talking to you.
He loved being around you.
He started acting different.
He seemed more distant.
He started to ignore you.
He got bored.
He stopped showing he cared.
He left.
You still miss him.
Right?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 17 points

🎀Anna🎀*
posted a quote
July 23, 2013 11:45pm UTC

Butterflies? I feel the entire zoo
when I see you.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

xoMentToBe
posted a quote
July 23, 2013 7:38pm UTC

*unplugs 100% charged phone*
*Slides phone open*
*Battery: 43%*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

Witty Profiles

cookiemonster95