chrisforeverhii's Favorites

chrisforeverhii

BravoSierra
posted a quote
May 19, 2013 7:53pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
After watching two seconds of Spongebob,
I already know what episode it is.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 199 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 18, 2013 9:29pm UTC

best threesome ever:
me. my bed. my pillow.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 149 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 18, 2013 9:20pm UTC

duck, duck, goose is literally the only game
where you can hit people on the head and run away laughing

👍 this is good · read the comments · 434 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 18, 2013 9:25pm UTC

if i were a spelling bee judge:
me: spell their
contestant: sentence please
me: they're going to build their house over there.
*walks off*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 376 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 18, 2013 8:45pm UTC

life hack: if your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. at night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your electronics for you

👍 this is good · read the comments · 245 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 11:21pm UTC

am i the only one whose never seen a pizza delivery girl
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 344 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
April 9, 2013 3:24pm UTC

"i'm so fat!"
I scream as I shove a brownie, pizza, my neighbors cat, two oak trees, a small country into my mouth
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 534 points

waitingforyourtouch
posted a quote
May 1, 2012 4:14pm UTC

Am I the only one??
who wants to die,
be dead for like a day,
see how everyone reacts,
then come back to life.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3166 points

pinapplesealover3
posted a quote
April 13, 2013 6:30pm UTC

we could be a beautiful miracle,♥♥
UNBELIEVABLE; INSTEAD OF JUST INVISIBLE.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

CandyBurst
posted a quote
May 3, 2012 3:10pm UTC

I’m blonde; I must be stupid.
I’m brunette; I must be boring.
I have red hair; I must have a fiery temper.
I have black hair, I must be eccentric.
I dye my hair; I must be trying to be someone.
I wear make-up; I must be fake.
I wear skirts; I must be a slag.
I like football; I must be a lesbian.
I’m rich; I must be spoilt.
I’m poor; Imust be a tramp.
I wear black; I must be a goth.
I wear hoodies; Imustbe causing trouble.
I’m skinny; I muststarve myself.
I’m curvy; I must constantly eat.
I’m smart; I must be a nerd.
I’m independent; I must be a loner.
I cry; I must be a baby.
I’m not like you; I must be weird.
I’m like you; I must be copying.
I’m religious; I must make you be the same.
I’m young; I must be naïve.
I’m old; I must be unable to look after myself.
I’m a teenager; I must always be up to no good.
I’m a straight-A student; I must have no social life.
I have no job; I must be lazy.
I have a good job; I must be a snob.
I’m foreign; I must be pocketing your tax.
I am human; I must be stereotyped.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3815 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
March 21, 2013 12:57pm UTC

In Sweden, it's illegal to name your baby
Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.
try calling him to come home to do the dishes.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 135 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
March 21, 2013 12:59pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
My daily workout includes
getting up to close my bedroom door after my parents leave.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 208 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 17, 2013 5:14pm UTC

in 7th grade i went to see a movie
with a boy and in the middle of it he was like "do you wanna kiss" and i was like "excuse me" and he pulled out a bag of hershey kisses out of his coat.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 535 points

sammy*
posted a quote
March 16, 2013 1:16pm UTC

You tell her she's beautiful, she'll tell you "No i'm not."
You tell her she isn't fat, she'll tell you "Do you see this?" and pull out her gut.
You compliment her on her looks, she'll tell you "There's girls out there who look better than me."
Do you know why she isn't taking any of your compliments?
It isn't because she likes hearing it or wants you to keep repeating it,
but because she truly feels like she doesn't deserve the compliments being given to her.
She knows her own flaws better than anyone else,
and they stand out to her more then anybody else.
So when she looks at herself, she doesn't see what you see.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 461 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 18, 2013 3:50pm UTC

Can you imagine if Witty just decided to shut down and you see all these
confused teenagers coming out of their house and squinting at the sun?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 577 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
March 15, 2013 4:48pm UTC

We're Americans.
We have freedom. We spell words like "favor" without that useless "u." We don't have cool accents. We say "mom" instead of "mum." We have some of the biggest idiots ever. And our existence just písses most people off.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 501 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 17, 2013 5:24pm UTC

someone called me fat today at school because
i was eating chips in math class so i looked at them, then to my bag of chips, then poured the rest of the bag inside my mouth and without breaking eye contact, pulled out another bag from my backback and kept eating.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1021 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 13, 2013 3:14pm UTC

i'm so mad that toasters
aren't called tanning breads.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 508 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
March 14, 2013 12:33am UTC

i was on tumblr and i just saw a picture of a woman with a poem tattooed onto her
want to know why that's special?
I wrote that poem and posted it on tumblr six months ago.
my poetry impacted her to the point where she wanted to have it permanently on her skin. it will be with her forever; when she gets married, it will be there, when she has children, it will be there. it meant that much to her.
and i am speechless.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 869 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 19, 2013 11:03am UTC

It always amuses me when guys get nosebleeds. They seem so shocked
and dismayed that this could happen. I mean, blood gushing out of your body making it impossible to laugh or cough or cry without spurting sticky read liquid everywhere? That mus suck.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 207 points

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chrisforeverhii