Witty Profiles

aliceinmathland

1. sleepy*
   posted a quote
   November 24, 2013 8:34am UTC
   it takes 30 seconds
   to type a text message
   that will make her smile
   for hours.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 45 points
2. MissAnna
   posted a quote
   November 24, 2013 5:06pm UTC
   i'm watching her
   while she's touching you and there's
   x||||||||||||| N O T H I N G I C A N D O ; G U E S S I ' M »
   HAPPY FOR YOU?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 87 points
3. capsized*
   posted a quote
   November 23, 2013 11:28pm UTC
   what men think women love to be called:
   babe
   baby
   sweetie
   honey
   sexy
   what women ACTUALLY like to be called:
   lamp shade
   broken chair
   Samuel L Jackson
   dirty dish rag
   Mr.Clean
   Joe Biden
   what to heck
   if anyone ever calls me ‘samuel l jackson’ as a pet name i will straight up kiss them in the street
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 57 points
4. Butterbear
   posted a quote
   November 24, 2013 2:34am UTC
   Thinking about dropping out of school
   to fulfill my dreams of becoming a bathtub.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 98 points
5. BlackButterflies
   posted a quote
   November 24, 2013 1:02am UTC
   sO I JUST HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFULLY CLICHED FIRST DATE IN THE WORLD he took me to the movies and paid for the tickets and we did that dumb brushing fingers in the popcorn thing and held hands and then he walked me home while still holding my hand and kissed me in the driveway this is so disgustingly cute ughhgbghghhghgbghg
   also i saw this old friend i haven't talked to in a few years and she looked at me and said hi. then she looked at him and her eyes got really big and she kind of gasped and gave me a really enthusiastic thumbs up and mouthed, "well done!!!!!"
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 169 points
6. kristabff
   posted a quote
   November 24, 2013 3:48pm UTC
   "EPIC FAIL!!"
   I exclaim! I have just gotten my paper on the epic, The Odyssey, back from my english teacher. I failed it. A 54%. My overall grade in the class has dropped down to an 82%. My parents must never find out about this failure.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 105 points
7. 
   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
   This quote does not exist.
   
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8. 
   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
   This quote does not exist.
   
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9. kristabff
   posted a quote
   November 24, 2013 7:54pm UTC
   MY MOM JUST CAME IN
   MY ROOM LIKE 5 SECONDS AGO AND SHE SAYS, "Honey, don't go in the basement. It's flooding with poop."
   uMMM ?????????????
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 90 points
10. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
11. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
12. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 19 points
13. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points
14. TheMagnificentWolf
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2013 2:38pm UTC
    Anti-joke #7
    A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole.
    So he got hurt.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
15. raginaaax*
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2013 1:40pm UTC
    Call me old fashioned but,
    I like being called sweetheart and honey
    i like flowers instead of jewelry
    drive-ins are cuter than actual movie theaters
    i like slow dancing not twerking
    writing letters is better than texting
    sleeping together > not sleeping together
    So call me old fashioned.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 44 points
16. * Sabaism *
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2013 2:05pm UTC
    Run run as fast as you can
    I'm the Doctor, take my hand
    You see these mannequins? Yea, they come to life.
    Will you be my companion despite all the strife.
    I am just a lonely, mad man in a box
    A mad man who always causes a paradox
    And I need someone like you
    Someone who will stay when I become new
    Someone who would risk their life for me
    And, even when I tell them to, never leave me be
    You aren't scared to admit you're faulted
    You are exactly what I've always wanted
    And that is why, Rose Tyler, my little dove
    You, are the one I love.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 76 points
17. TheMagnificentWolf
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2013 2:30pm UTC
    Anti-joke #5
    What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
    Where's my tractor?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points
18. kristabff
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2013 1:29pm UTC
    Me: hey do you mind doing me a favorite
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 143 points
19. kristabff
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2013 1:48pm UTC
    On Friday in math class
    we were learning about like SAS and AAS and SSS and stuff like that and my teacher was like, "Now remember kids, there is NO A-S-S!" and this kid behind me was like, "Whoever didn't invent A-S-S was an áss" and lmao
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 121 points
20. TheMagnificentWolf
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2013 2:18pm UTC
    Anti-joke #2
    Why was six afraid of seven?
    It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points

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