Witty Profiles

_LoveSuicidexo

1. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   February 28, 2013 10:33pm UTC
   I just remembered
   I was supposed to get test results back from doctors
   6 months ago
   and I never did.
   So either something's wrong
   and they're still trying to figure it out,
   they forgot about it completely,
   or they haven't found anything wrong yet.
   
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2. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   January 25, 2013 11:05pm UTC
   No one can know.
   Not anybody.
   
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3. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   January 17, 2013 4:52pm UTC
   I don't care
   I'm crying
   I don't care
   I'm dying
   I don't care
   I'm losing myself again
   I don't care
   I'm done trying
   I don't care
   Read between the lines.
   
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4. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   December 24, 2012 7:32pm UTC
   Everything's just too
   B
   R
   O
   K
   E
   N
   to fix
   
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5. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   December 16, 2012 7:45am UTC
   My 16 Resolutions for 2012:
   The ones crossed off are one's I've accomplished
   1. Get a semester of A's and B's.
   2. Feel good about myself.
   3. Buy a car.
   4. Get my license.
   5. No more depression. Be happy!
   6. No more cutting/throwing up.
   7. Get a job in a restaurant or something that relates to cooking.
   8. Get accepted into a College
   9. Find myself, even if that means finding myself alone.
   10. FORGET.
   11. Learn how to handle my disorder & learn how to be ok with it.
   12. Speak my mind--openly.
   13. Read the bible.
   14. Don't worry about everyone's problems before myself. Stop botteling up those emotions because I matter too.
   15. Don't bite my tounge and sacrifice my own feelings to prevent hurting other people. The most important relationships I have are with my friends and family, which will remain my #1 focus.
   16. Be the best friend, sister, daughter, aunt & person I could be. Continue doing what I love to do, and forget about the people who could care less.
   I care. My friends care. My family cares. And that's all that matters.
   I'm quite proud for getting all of this done and I'm excited to write 17 more :)
   
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6. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   November 27, 2012 9:15pm UTC
   You know it's bad when
   you can feel your heart beating,
   but you're suffocating,
   ever so slowly your breath is shrinking,
   and your will power to get it back
   is evaporating with it.
   You know it's bad when
   you know it's not your fault,
   but you still hold a grudge over yourself.
   You still look at the life you created
   and it pains you.
   You know it's bad when
   you scream,
   but no one can hear you.
   No one will hear you until it's far too late.
   
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7. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   November 10, 2012 11:02pm UTC
   no one
   will ever care enough to ask if I need help.
   
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8. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   November 10, 2012 10:39pm UTC
   I am not a real person.
   I am an outer-shell wrapped around a mind that wants to be separate.
   I am skin and fat and blood and dust.
   I am thoughts and decisions that no one understands.
   I am impulses and overwhelming needs.
   I am an outer-shell stuck in bed for hours and hours unable to move.
   I am a monster snuggled in the corner of my brain.
   I am fragile glass waiting to break.
   I am a burden, disordered, skin and dust taking up space. I am nothing.
   I am a bird in a cage that wants nothing more to be set free.
   I am a string that's been tangled into a crazy,
   messed up ball that wishes to consume me.
   I am a outer-shell, hard as a rock.
   On the inside, I am exploding.
   I am nothing.
   I have been manipulated into the trick of the night.
   Darkness is all I see.
   Can't this feeling just get out of my mind?
   What will it take to get the feelings gone?
   What do I do to control myself?
   I am numb.
   I am the bitter-sweetness of the first snowfall in winter.
   I am the cold biting at your cheeks.
   I am the hunger twisting inside your stomach.
   I am everything; and nothing.
   I can't think or speak...I can't even breathe.
   It's like I'm brainwashed.
   The voices in my head have lost hope in me.
   I'm lost.
   So lost.
   And all I want is Dan to hold me.
   I am not a real person.
   I am an outer-shell wrapped around a mind that wants to be seperate.
   I am skin and fat and blood and dust.
   I am thoughts and decisions that no one understands.
   I am impulses and overwhelming needs.
   I am an outer-shell stuck in bed for hours and hours unable to move.
   I am a monster snuggled in the corner of my brain.
   I am fragile glass waiting to break.
   I am a burden, disordered, skin and dust taking up space.
   I am an outer-shell.
   And I am nothing.
   Ask me if I'm okay and I won't have anything to say.
   I'm just a lost soul with good intentions,
   I dont know what to do anymore,
   I’m drowning in obligations
   and i just want to be happy but apparently other things are more important.
   Everything is just exhausting.
   I just want to leave the world that I know
   and visit a world where I can be seen,
   one where I can be happy and I won't think anything of the concept.
   I just want to be in Dan's arms.
   I want to feel his warm love.
   I want to feel his breath in my ear saying I love you
   and I want to hear his heart beating under his chest.
   I want to be okay.
   I want to feel okay.
   And I can only do that with him.
   I can only forget the horrors when I'm with him.
   I want nothing more for it to be spring.
   I want nothing more than him.
   Here.
   Now.
   It's like I will never understand my life
   or feel anything until I hear his voice and see his face again.
   He is my everything.
   Without him...
   I am an outer-shell.
   I am nothing.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
9. _LoveSuicidexo
   posted a quote
   November 10, 2012 3:06pm UTC
   So...
   I found a suicide note I wrote when I was younger.
   It's so horrible.
   It makes me want to cry.
   At the end it reads:
   Just know that I never stopped loving any of you. I just stopped loving myself.
   Wish you all the best.
   I don't know what to say but this terrifies me.
   I'm not sorry it was ever written.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
10. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    October 28, 2012 8:54pm UTC
    My boyfriend and I
    have been together for nearly 6 months.
    Even though he's 16,132 miles away,
    and we only get to talk
    for an hour on Skype once
    or maybe twice a week,
    we still make it work.
    And in 187 days, we will be together.
    I love my Australian Boyfriend.
    & he loves his American Girlfriend.
    That's all that matters.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
11. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    October 9, 2012 4:30pm UTC
    I'm afraid of something happening to you,
    because I'd be the last one to know,
    but the first one to care.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
12. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2012 7:01pm UTC
    Me: *finishes dinner fast*
    Dad: Wow you were hungry
    Me: No, I was sad, so my my tummy told my mind to eat to fill the emptiness I'm trying to void. I guilt ate. And now that I'm done I'm going to go guilt throw it up.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
13. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    September 6, 2012 8:20pm UTC
    Dad: Did you have anything to eat after school?
    Lunch Lady in the morning: Why aren't you buying breakfast?
    Lunch lady during study: Why aren't you eating?
    Lunch lady during lunch: Good girl for buying food!
    Teachers watching me during lunch: Are you going to eat more?
    Mum: Have you eaten anything today?
    Friends: EAT!
    Boyfriend: Did you eat?
    Lol guys uh, thanks for caring all of the sudden, (except for Dan and friends they've always cared) but you really don't need to be that concerned. I can, have been, and will take care of myself. I promise.
    
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14. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    September 4, 2012 11:45pm UTC
    The moment when you can't even
    find the words to say
    what's on your mind
    or how you feel properly
    and you just sit there in the dark
    soaking up the silence like a sponge
    because it's so much easier
    and relieving
    than trying to string together
    the insignificant thoughts
    that crowd your mind.
    
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15. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2012 9:50am UTC
    I know I’m not fat
    I know I’m not ugly
    But as soon as I see a girl
    who is skinnier than me,
    has nicer breasts,
    has whiter teeth,
    has nicer hair
    or nicer skin…
    I get so jealous
    that I go home and I try to fix myself
    but I never feel good enough.
    And it scares the crap out of me.
    
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16. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    August 20, 2012 9:48pm UTC
    I might have smiled and laughed and said I was okay,
    but the pain still hurts and still haunts and still lingers.
    I can't just be okay permanently.
    At least not until I'm with him.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
17. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    August 20, 2012 9:19pm UTC
    Get out
    (leave!)
    Right now
    It's the end of you and me.
    It's too late
    (now!)
    And I can't wait for you to be gone.
    'Cause I know
    About her
    (ooh!)
    And I wonder
    (why?!)
    How I bought all the lies.
    You said that you would treat me right,
    But you was just a waste of time.
    (waste of time!)
    ♥ if you remember this
    
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18. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    August 20, 2012 8:35pm UTC
    homemade ab/upper thigh workout that's actually kinda fun:
    1. sit in a computer chair backwards.
    2. put your legs up against the back of the chair, cross your ankles and hold onto the chair with your thighs.
    3. bend your back all the way, until your head is touching the floor (or as close as you can get your head to the floor in case you're short).
    4. try to lift yourself up in a seated position.
    5. Do this repeatedly until you feel like stopping.
    
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19. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    August 20, 2012 2:25pm UTC
    My friend is my only hope and chance I have of surviving work.
    *text from that friend* : I'm not coming to work today.
    D: D: D: D: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
20. _LoveSuicidexo
    posted a quote
    August 20, 2012 2:08pm UTC
    I hate when people try to help me...
    because I’m an anxious and nervous wreck who can never think positively.
    And whenever people talk to me I just agree because I don’t want to disagree and start an argument.
    But someone always ends up getting sick of me during the conversation and saying:
    “Okay fine, I was just trying to help.”
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 2 points

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