WittyCookie145's Favorites

Bec*
posted a quote
April 14, 2013 10:12pm UTC

Both George Clooney and Morgan Freeman have been the exact same age for at least 30 years and no one has said anything about it.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

Bec*
posted a quote
April 14, 2013 10:18pm UTC

Do you ever go on youtube to watch a quick music video and later finding yourself watching a tutorial on how to walk a giraffe?

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Bec*
posted a quote
March 28, 2013 9:45pm UTC

Me: I talk to myself
Me: Same

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Bec*
posted a quote
March 25, 2013 1:47am UTC

Three weeks ago: single
Last week: single
Next week: single
Next month: single
Next year: single
Next decade: single
Next life: single

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 40 points

Bec*
posted a quote
March 25, 2013 1:55am UTC

I don't usually lose my phone, but when I do it's on silent.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 5:35pm UTC

shoutout
to my parents
for paying the internet bill
every month
god bless u
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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UND3R
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 6:48pm UTC

Ad on Witty: Click here to see if you are doing these three exercising mistakes.
Me: Hahahahahaha! Don't you know by now we don't exercise?

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roseth0rn
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 6:34pm UTC

Me & My friend Tommy talking.
Me: It must sucks when your best friend dates your ex that broke up with you on your birthday.
Tommy: It's okay, I like someone else.
Me: Really? Who?
Him: *whispers* Ice Cream. Don't tell her. She's already dating Milkshake.
I think he's a wittian.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 54 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 12:31pm UTC

me: im so lonely
person: hey
me: leave me alone
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 441 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 10:02pm UTC

How do people approach their crush?
I don't even have the guts to ask for an extra barbeque sauce at McDonalds.

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alisonDB21
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 8:40pm UTC

i
Does that look like a zombie to anybody else?

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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sammy*
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 9:13pm UTC

Uterus: That new underwear looks nice.
Uterus: It'd be a shame if something...
Uterus: ..happened to it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 319 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 9:36pm UTC

If Prince Charles’s ringtone
isn’t I Just Can’t Wait to
be King then what’s the point
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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SomeRandomDude
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 6:42pm UTC

If someone came up to you and handed you a book, and you started reading it and realized it was a book about your entire life, would you read it until the end?
NMQ

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abigaail
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 8:33pm UTC

Heres a Haiku about getting out of bed:
No No No No No No
No No No No No No No
No No No No No No

👍 this is good · read the comments · 113 points

wonderstruck25
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 5:52pm UTC

When your mom treats your dog better then you

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sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 5:56pm UTC

Ok so this happened today in English
*snowing*
Teacher: *starts crying*
Class: what's up?
Teacher: I literally cannot believe you are all finding the snow more interesting than me *starts sobbing*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 160 points

iKindaSortaLikeYou
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 5:23pm UTC

Seeing a bug outside: Hello Mr.Bug ☺
Seening a bug in your house: Time to die muthhaafaawwkaa!!!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

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