Dudu*'s Quotes

Dudu*

Dudu*
posted a quote
November 26, 2022 1:11pm UTC

you need food to focus
you need food to focus
you need food

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Dudu*
posted a quote
November 21, 2022 6:45am UTC

i made it
You made it happen.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
November 14, 2022 2:46pm UTC

i just know im gonna make it
all this pain will wash away
i trust in You.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
November 13, 2022 2:49pm UTC

you always hide behind your self entrusted title of being "nice".
but no. it's never been true. it's a mask you keep only for you.
"you keep making this mistake!"
okay so why only bring it up in front of someone else?
you berate me and tell me it's not my fault.
you claim to be the nice guy but he has never made me fight back tears like you had today.
you can't make me look stupid and expect me to keep a smile.
you can't talk my ear off, drown me in your worries and expect me to stay happy.
when you're not there i try to defend you.
but you're still you.
fake nice and never a team player.
full of snide remarks and self indulgence.
keep telling me off and making me feel bad when i'm trying to help.
i'm sorry. for trying im sorry.
i can't have your back anymore. it's not fair on me.
i'll take kind over nice any day.
you're really a wolf in sheep's clothing.
i learnt it today. the hard way.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
October 25, 2022 7:36am UTC

i tried my best.
i wish i could have done better.
i have always been trying the best i can
and in that moment i tried my best.
i showed up for myself
i tried to fight for myself
i could have done so much better looking back
it's so obvious to me now
*sigh*
i'll leave it to God.
the best trust to leave it to.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
October 17, 2022 9:50am UTC

it's not working out

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Dudu*
posted a quote
October 17, 2022 9:43am UTC

petty
yeah look at the badge
tells you all you need to know.
yeah, ignore my attempts.
i guess health comes before common decency.
a clear explanation that falls on deaf ears.
the best person to speak to.
can i be that for you?
do i want to be that for you?
the hardest part is over,
i gave myself a chance.
yeah look at the badge.
just being here, i already know more than you.
that confused look on your face.
i could help.
i could hold the answers to it all.
guess you'll never know.
and a few months from now
the kind warm person that i can be for others,
i won't ever be that for you.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 20, 2022 3:30pm UTC

one day at a time.
my head hurts feeling like i'm sprinting in the same spot.
this headache from staying up late and for what?
tomorrow will i man up and practice what i learnt?
this insecurity, this uncertain, shakable feeling.
the annoying inflection that makes a statement
sound like a question. that awkward bead of sweat
that makes existing appear more difficult than it is.
all of it. slowly will dismantle.
bring it to a boil, melt it and
cast iron into the image of myself i longed to meet.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 17, 2022 1:10am UTC

always so passionate when it came to her.
always so elusive when it came to responsibility.
silver hair and blazing eyes,
still you don't know the reason why.
you're a special kind of cruel.
i learnt it all from you.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 16, 2022 2:13pm UTC

i remember how i felt.
sore and out of place.
awkward and uncomfortable.
it was like a hot beam spotlight moment
yet also like i was in the background and didn't matter.
i remember how it felt.
younger me consoling myself.
telling myself it would be over soon.
promising myself i would never put myself in a similar situation ever again.
biting my lip just hurt me.
sweeping things under the rug just made me feel dirty.
keeping the peace always left me hurt.
keep your promise.
prioritise me.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 16, 2022 2:02pm UTC

i'm not sure what i'll do
i might regret it
but i'm growing old.
i can't dread the days i'm supposed to enjoy.
time with family is supposed to be
something i look forward to
i can't keep dreading the days
i'm supposed to enjoy.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 10, 2022 9:52am UTC

Papa is only human.
he has been many things.
my umberella, my cheerleader,
my anger, my embarassment, my regret,
my first best friend and my favourite.
but above all else
he is only human.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 8, 2022 2:33pm UTC

my anxious black dog
i think it will always be like this.
this tight, lurking, dreary, unsettling feeling.
this all encompassing, yet discrete, gnawing feeling.
this thing that is always with me.
i think it will just always be like this.
*sigh*

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 8, 2022 2:28pm UTC

"what are you working towards,
what's your end goal?
saving up for a house or car?
marriage or for your family?"
it caught me off guard.
you asked questions i didn't have the answers to yet.
you asked questions that left me feeling stunned and teary eyed when you left.
what am i doing this all for.
why exactly am i trying so hard.
those thoughts took turns taking laps in my head ever since you asked.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 3, 2022 1:46pm UTC

"i never knew what game you were playing, but i always had to keep score. sometimes you were sensitive and critical. after the storm, the calm would come. in the form of reassurance and splendid gifts of adoration. a fight meant a cuddle later. my tears falling signposted to remorse and your apologies. there was this pattern with you. bitter then sweet. cold then hot. always keeping me on my toes, until i decided to stop."

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 3, 2022 7:16am UTC

sometimes in the face of adversity you crumble.
sometimes it takes too much out of you to remain strong.
sometimes your environment takes too much of a toll on you.
sometimes it's okay to not blame myself for things i can't control.
sometimes i can go easy on myself for wasting another day away.
sometimes i do just need to eat junk and binge watch dr who to make myself feel better.
sometimes a nap in the afternoon is warranted without the excuse of a hectic morning.
sometimes tough love isn't enough.
sometimes i need to parent myself in a way that i was not parented.
take it day by day.
that's what i've always done.
and it's the only thing that always worked.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
September 3, 2022 6:39am UTC

fastest land animal
honey hit me where it hurts.
come on, make me feel like dirt.
you think i don't know while i know you do.
just say it ain't so and it'll all be good.
i've been thinking about it lately.
back when your cheeks would flush all rosie.
i think i've lost my touch
i think i'm going to have to change it up.
it's a new passcode,
now i don't answer when you call.
when exactly are you going to catch on?

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Dudu*
posted a quote
August 29, 2022 8:18am UTC

i must have said sorry a hundred times.
i'm sorry for burdening you this much.
you won't have to put up with it much longer.
we joke around a lot and you forgave me each time.
i don't think i can forgive myself.
i don't think i can make it up to you.
just no more mistakes.
and no more second chances.
it really begs the question:
who did i think i was?
no. really, who?

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Dudu*
posted a quote
August 29, 2022 8:11am UTC

here we are again.
trying to turn this fat to bone.
i forget each time the only thing that i lose.
if not friends then brain cells.
this crass carelessness.
this concentrated distraction.
this scatter brained sweaty nonsense.
i hate it all.
why can't i shrivel into bronze brute strength and endless wisdom.
why am i a dehydrated version of my worst self.
time keeps passing and i fall into the same cracks.
this stomach churning.
this hopelessness.
i've seen it all before.
i'm sick of myself but above all else im sick of disappointing you again.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
July 23, 2022 10:48am UTC

today i'll let you win.
i'm far too exhausted.
thoughts of you and me have tired me out.
tomorrow i'll pick a fight.
i'll remind you of who i am.
tomorrow for sure i'll make it even.
i'll be extra immature, i won't use any reason.
since i'm so embarassingly smitten,
i must poke the bear.
i'll remind you of who i am.
i'm the one who rules your heart.

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