LivingButWantingToDie

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Member Since: 28 Nov 2012 09:35am

Last Seen: 27 Jul 2013 01:09am

Location: Iowa

Gender: F

user id: 340207

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Star here!
My Birthday is Sepember 15th, I'm 14 years old.
I live in a small town of Charter Oak.
Not your avreg girl here. As You can see from the username.
I live in a place where I'm not accepted for who I am.
I've tried many things.
I'm there for anyone.

Have any other questions just comment on my profile!
Follow for a follow?! (:

www.facebook.com/starpaige
Status: Online/Offline

SimpleLayouts ♥

Forget Your Fears

LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 2:30pm UTC

Blood So Red, Sky So Grey, Dear Life Please Give Me Strength To Stay

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 2:09pm UTC

Anxiety Attacks
Intense feelings of fear, doom, foreboding,
and gloom; a sudden urgency to escape,
run away, or get out; the fear that you may
lose
control of your thoughts and actions;
dizziness; nausea and vomiting; a feeling
like you might pass outl trmbling or
shaking; weakness; difficulty breathing;
pounding or racing heart; hot of cold
flashes; chest pain; hands and feet may feel
numb; you may be lightheaded or woozy;
irrational thoughts, and emotional
symptoms.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 4:42pm UTC

Every night she cries, and dies a little more each time.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
May 8, 2013 3:03pm UTC

What does depression
feel like?
it feels like you're stuck in the tides of a
roaring ocean, tearing you done with each and
every wave. It feels like you're trying
to save yourself, struggling
for a breath of air, but every time
you get a chance to breath, the waves
push you back down again. It feels like there's
no hope to saving yourself;
because you are
drowning, drowning drowning.
It feels like the waves are the weight of the world, and
they're drowning you, pushing you down every
second you try to push
yourself up again. It feels like you're hoping; hoping
for someone to save you, but the waves keep
pushing you back instead, you see, the waves
are the sadness,
and in each tide, the sadnes pulls you in deeper,
and at one point,
you just let yourself
drown.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 10:02am UTC

I won't pretend that we could live forever
I think it's gonna be alright now
it think its gonna be okay
Just close your eyes, cause we are only sparks
but together burning bright

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 5:23pm UTC

Maybe I'm a little sad. Sometimes it's too hard to smile.
Sometimes theres nothing to smile about.
What do you do when everyone is moving and yu just can't?
I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. I never know what to do. And you know what? I don't think I'll ever know what to do. Sometimes its just easier to hide under my covers and ignore everyone. You know, sometimes I even ignore myself. Did you know that was possible? Because it is. It's one of my talents. Ignoring myself. Maybe I'm a little more that just "sad."

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
May 1, 2013 11:42am UTC

Today I was sad
and yesterday I was sad
Last week I was sad
a month ago I was sad
Last year I was sad
Tomorrow I'll be sad
and that is pretty sad.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 11:43am UTC

She picks up the blade and the tears stream down. The smile she had, was painted on like a clown's. She takes that blade and runs it across her wrist. After all, today's just another day she wishes to forget. She's sick of the drama, she's sick of the lies, and deep down inside, she wishes to die. She hopes for joy, and she wishes for peace, but most of all, she wants someone to see the pain underneath.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 11:38am UTC

She paints a pretty picture, but this one has a twist
Her paintbrush is her razor, her canvas is her wrist.
She'll paint and paint until it all fades black, the paint will drip down her arm she can't look back
The pain is deep but the pleasure is deeper.
People hurt her so much, she became her own artwork.
One slice after another.
Till she was gone.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 19, 2013 12:40am UTC

click to see this quote

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 19, 2013 12:37am UTC

You know what people cut? Because it s a distraction. For one moment you feel all the pain, the loss, the hurt. All you feel is the razor going into your skin, the blood dripping down your arm, leg, Stomach. You don't think about how alone you are or how fat and ugly you are. You don't think about the way people talk about you behind your back you don't think about how your family or your friends hate you. All you think about is the blood. And the addictive part? Well that's when all the hurt and pain comes back. When the cut isn't fresh and you feel all the build up if sadness and loneliness inside you. So you have to do it again, but a little deeper so the numbness will last longer. The pain inside will be delayed longer. And you have to make the pain outside worse you have to make the pain outside worse and worse. It's all about control. You have it. You can't control the pain inside so you get to control it on the outside.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 17, 2013 2:00pm UTC

For all the girl and people that go to Charter Oak and the girls in my class who Have been on my profile. Suidice is serious thing. and so is cutting. Don't sit there and make fun of me or anyone else who does self-harm and don't sit there and freaking judge people because of it. You never know who does it, they could be right in front of you..

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 17, 2013 1:11pm UTC

Nice to know your mad at me.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 15, 2013 11:32pm UTC

It's like drowning, but watching everyone else swim around you.
Like your in a dark room, alone. And you see someone, but when you reach out to them, they fade away.
Depression does not have a cure. Theres no medicine to make it all better. And it comes to a point where crying is all you can do.
You'll say im overreacting, but ask anyone that suffers with depression. Its true.
You feel like your never good enough. Too fat. Too skinny.
Too lame. Too boring. Too scary. Too quiet. Too hidden.

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 15, 2013 11:28pm UTC

“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 15, 2013 12:50am UTC

Anxiety
-- 1. The feeling where you stay up at night, stare at your ceiling, ask yourself an infinite number of questions, then sit there and debate on whether or not you acutally want to know the answer.
2. The feeling where you wonder who truly cares about you and who is just using you; who is there fo you and who is so desperately witing for you to fail.
3. The feeling where you feel like you're not good enough; that you need to be this, this, and this to be successful and liked. You crave for the attention you know you can't have.
4. The feeling where you get frustrated because it's physically impossible to be 100% happy. You want someone to vent to but no one will understand you.
5. The feeling where you question your value, your worth, your pride, yourself, everything... and you think. Over think. All night. All you're left with, is you, yourself, and a very dark place.
"I don't know where to go from here. I don't even know who I am anymore." said the anxiety..

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
April 7, 2013 1:45pm UTC

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WittyProfiles!!!!!!
You're 10 years old!!
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Witty
Happy Birthday to you!
And MANY MOREEEE!!!

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
March 22, 2013 11:59pm UTC

All I ask is for you to pay attention to me.
Look at what I've became.
Can't you see anything I'm going through.
I never sleep.
I never eat.
I've been cutting since 2006.
I've been smoking for the past 3 years.
I've been taking pain pills to numb the pain for the past year.
I've been drinking for 2 years.
I've attempted suicide 4 times.
I don't know anymore. I just can't see a point in it. All I want is for you to see. I want you to help me. Not make it worse. Just please tell me you care and prove it to me. Just help me..

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
March 22, 2013 11:51pm UTC

I'm so tired of this....

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LivingButWantingToDie
posted a quote
March 21, 2013 11:01pm UTC

And this is when I leave this world and tell everyone and everything good-bye...

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