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LetsEatWalruses

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 6:26pm UTC

So you guys know how more than half the Witty population left after the Directioner invasion?
Well you know how the Spanish Conquistadors came to the New World, completely disregarded the Natives' culture and religion, and forced them to become Christians, then if they refused they just killed them. Then about 90% of the population died because of small pox and other diseases from Europe? Well that's kind of like how the Directioners came in, completely bombarded Witty Profiles (and most of the other websites on the Internet) with One Direction facts, didn't care how the Wittians were annoyed by this, and then most Wittians just left. I've done my research; you can't even tell me history doesn't repeat itself.

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*♥︎Lady Ave♥︎*
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 1:48am UTC

*I am an American Girl*
♥

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 9:40pm UTC

Sure there are mass murderers
but there are also people who like black jelly beans. I don't know which ones I should be more afraid of.

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*♥︎Lady Ave♥︎*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 11:58am UTC

Yesterday,
This lil tweet was getting on my nerves
And pulling on my backpack when my back hurt like crazy.
So when I was sitting there about to beat the crud monkeys out of him,
This dude said, "Do you need a hug?" (yes I know the dude.)
And I said, "I don't know."
So he hugged me and I'm as tall as like his shoulder
And I smelt his jacket (cause his jacket was in my face)
So when he pulled away,
I said, "You smell good."
And my friends started laughing.
WHO CARES IF I SAY SOMEONE SMELLS GOOD?
I'll falcon punch them with evil rainbow bunny claws
If they laugh ever again.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
September 23, 2013 7:40pm UTC

If I was a celebrity, I bet you a million dollars
That all I would do all day is scroll through all the fanfictions about myself. And I could bet that much money because I'd be famous and rich.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 99 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
September 24, 2013 9:04pm UTC

So in English class we're reading Julius Caesar
And we have to write an essay on who we think is more fit to rule, Caesar or Brutus. So I seized the opportunity and took Gretchen Weiner's quote from Mean Girls, and if my teacher doesn't accept it then she just needs to reevaluate her whole life. Soooo here's my essay:
"Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!"

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carson5482
posted a quote
September 18, 2013 7:27pm UTC

Mom: Get off the computer and go out! You've been playing Sims too much!
Me: Ah fweegah fwaa boobasnot cayoo dis wompf es fredesche.

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
September 19, 2013 7:38pm UTC

Teacher: The line can only go in one direction.
Fangirls: LIKE OH MY GOD, SHE TOTALLY SAID ONE DIRECTION!!!!! *faints*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 113 points

*♥︎Lady Ave♥︎*
posted a quote
September 17, 2013 8:55am UTC

In my dream.......
My ex was there and I was wearing a tanktop in my dream with i forgot
what bottoms. But, all I remember is that my ex looks at me and goes,
"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!"
and I said back,
"A TANKTOP! NOOOOO I'M WEARING A
FCKING DRESS!!!! You idiot."
I woke up laughing.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points

*♥︎Lady Ave♥︎*
posted a quote
September 17, 2013 2:09am UTC

Me: Wow why are my hands soo cold!
My Best Friend: Because, your hands lead straight to your icy HEART
love you too.
________________
nmf, nmq but mixed up a bit

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 33 points

The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 9, 2013 3:55pm UTC

comment a food and i wont eat it for the rest of september.
*cant be a healthy food*

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The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 11, 2013 12:14am UTC

Come On Skinny Love
JUST LAST THE YEAR ♥ .

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 5:40pm UTC

▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌
So this one bully actually
asked a nerd for his lunch
money and the nerd replied with
"Sorry, I must have left it on your moms dresser."
my quote yo but nmf
▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 50 points

The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 9:41pm UTC

Its going to be in the ninties tomorrow
.. its almost fall and I live in Canada.

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The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 13, 2013 12:04am UTC

I think about you 25/8

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The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 11:35am UTC

*points to ur lap* is this seat taken

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The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 1:41pm UTC

We Buy Things We
dont want
With Money We
dont have
To Impress People We
dont like

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 3:18pm UTC

Weather Forecast?
100% c h a n c e o f t e a r s.

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The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 5:28pm UTC

i like wearing lipstick because you leave marks on
literally everything omg. kiss a boy’s cheek? my boy
now. drink out of a cup? my cup forever. don’t even
think about having coffee out of that thing. it’s like marking your territory

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 80 points

The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 8:53pm UTC

when you wear
maxi pads and it feels like ur wearing a diaper

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 83 points