Witty Profiles

LetsEatWalruses

1. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   October 23, 2013 7:00pm UTC
   I wish suicide was possible without hurting the 0.2 people that might care about you
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
2. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   October 23, 2013 6:55pm UTC
   people who bite ice cream with their front teeth are on a whole different level
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
3. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   October 4, 2013 6:50pm UTC
   got honey on my cut,
   call it honey boo-boo
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 34 points
4. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   September 23, 2013 2:32pm UTC
   Poking holes in your parents condoms
   so theres someone else to do the dishes.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
5. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   September 23, 2013 4:40pm UTC
   i am the almost empty shampoo bottle in the shower of life
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points
6. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   September 18, 2013 8:23pm UTC
   today at i saw a wifi network called
   “Scott’s iPhone” so i tried logging into
   it with the password “scottiscool” and it worked
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 73 points
7. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   September 15, 2013 6:50pm UTC
   you know youre on your period
   when you begin crying when your laptop shuts down.
   nmf
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points
8. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   September 15, 2013 6:22pm UTC
   Today, I had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up; I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clocks broken, and I'm wide awake. Not sure who won...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 23 points
9. The Ukrainian Chick*
   posted a quote
   September 15, 2013 3:39pm UTC
   do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus
   and then you are too lazy to focus them
   back in and just stare at nothing for a while
   .
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 13 points
10. The Ukrainian Chick*
    posted a quote
    September 15, 2013 3:30pm UTC
    youre upstairs late at night and you hear your
    mom calling you from the kitchen. You get up
    but while youre on your way down stairs you
    hear your mom from upstairs saying "dont go
    down, i heard it too." Who do you believe?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points
11. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 12 points
12. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 68 points
13. IJustNeedLovee
    posted a quote
    November 1, 2013 12:28pm UTC
    It makes me feel better
    'Cause pretty I ain't,
    What's wrong with a little
    Bit of paint?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
14. fleeflicker98
    posted a quote
    November 1, 2013 12:31pm UTC
    We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
15. idarly
    posted a quote
    November 1, 2013 12:34pm UTC
    Playing Pool with my friends
    This boy: I get two goes because you hit my ball
    Me: That must've hurt...
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
16. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
17. Cheshire Kitten*
    posted a quote
    October 30, 2013 5:54am UTC
    Ripped gloves, raincoat
    Tried to swim and stay afloat
    Dry house, wet clothes
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
18. ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    October 30, 2013 7:18pm UTC
    So I was reading this thing online about if you need to cheat on a test
    And one of the suggestions was you make a customized iron-on decal, and place it upside down on the front of a cheap shirt. On the test day, you wear that shirt under a loose hoodie or zip-up sweatshirt and take a peek down every time you need help. I am sorry but if you are that desperate for a good grade please just study.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 83 points
19. therecklessandthebrave
    posted a quote
    October 31, 2013 6:18pm UTC
    I used to wish I could fly, spread my wings and fly away.
    I'd cross my fingers for a day, wishing for a better way.
    So take my hands and take me away.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
20. *♥︎Lady Ave♥︎*
    posted a quote
    October 31, 2013 11:09pm UTC
    Me Reading A Certificate My Sister Recieved:
    Certificate:
    Attendance Certificate
    This Honor is Bestowed Upon
    ______(her name)_______
    in recognition of an outstanding attendace record
    For the period _____August____to____October____
    At ____(her school)____ this__21st__day of ____October___ year of __1913__
    __(Principal's Name)__
    Me: Why does it say 1913? She isn't 108.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 17 points

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