Witty Profiles

Jillianxxx

Jillianxxx
posted a quote
September 5, 2013 8:25pm UTC
what is a good book series relating to the hunger games? i have to read a book for english, and tell me what the series is about. thank you (:

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
glitter162*
posted a quote
August 28, 2013 5:14pm UTC
I went outside once.
The graphics were amazing, but the gameplay and storyline were terrible.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 140 points
Jillianxxx
posted a quote
April 2, 2013 12:37am UTC
LITERALLY THIS JUST HAPPENED I'M SCREAMING
ME: *SINGING LOUDLY* YO I'LL TELL
YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT.
UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR: SO TELL ME
WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY
REALLY WANT SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 34 points
dolph*
posted a quote
June 22, 2013 9:48am UTC
If you're my boyfriend you're not allowed to:
• Have candles on your birthday cake
wtf are you wishing for all your wishes came true when you met me
• Kiss another female besides me
You wanna say goodbye to grandma? You better chest bump her and call it a day, boy
• Speak to other females
idc if you're lost and need directions you better get on your knees & ask Jesus to guide you or somethin
• Own a GPS/SatNav
what' you tryna' do? Navigate your way out of this relationship?
• Buy glasses or contact lenses
why do you need your vision to improve? You seeing someone else?
• Sneeze in public
girls'll be like "bless you" wtf girl you're already blessed you have ME
• Eat Jalapenos/Chillies
they're hotter than me
• Buy lightbulbs
i'm the only person that can light up your world. THE ONLY ONE
• Listen to another girl's relationship problems
a shoulder to cry on becomes a d/ck to ride on
• Watch animal planet
you might see your ex
• Wear shoes with laces on
you might trip and fall in love with someone better than me, better wear them sketcher slips ons
• Be good at maths
find ya "X" and you gonna wonder "Y" you're single again
• Drink milk
Whatchu need the strength for? Tryna get the strength to leave me?! No not today
• Spray Lynx in public
next thing you know hoes gonna be poppin' out beggin' for his d/ck.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 478 points
MayMyEyesBleedForTheSorrowsYouveCausedMe
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 6:02am UTC
I hate it when people joke about cutting,suicide,or eating disorders.
The thing is, you have no idea what people go through.
You can be standing
right next to someone
who is planning on
ending their own life,
and you may never know it.
Please stop.
It really,really hurts.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 70 points
dolph*
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 12:57pm UTC
yes my thighs touch and so do the rest of my legs and also my feet
in fact my whole bottom half is in one piece i am a mermaid

👍 this is good · read the comments · 172 points
dolph*
posted a quote
June 13, 2013 12:55pm UTC
Me: why is peter pan always flying?
Friend:
Me: because he neverlands
Friend:
Me: I like this joke because it never grows old
Friend:
Me: it has a nice hook
Friend: you aren't making sense?
Me: are you lost, boys?
Friend: what?
Me: beats Smee how you didn't understand that.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 180 points
dolph*
posted a quote
June 16, 2013 1:47pm UTC
i broke my finger today but on the other hand i am completely fine

👍 this is good · read the comments · 213 points
dolph*
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 1:59pm UTC
If i was a boy:
Me: hey girl spell 'me'
Girl: okay..M-E
Me: you missed out the D
Girl: there's no D in me
Me: not yet baby

👍 this is good · read the comments · 205 points
dolph*
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 12:33pm UTC
white lips, pale face, choking on my toothpaste

👍 this is good · read the comments · 253 points
britany*
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 11:39pm UTC
Me: *gets a bowl off ice cream*
Me: *adds whipped topping*
Me: *adds chocolate syrup*
Me: This is sooo unhealthy
Me: *adds strawberries*
Me: Yeah that should balance it out.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 49 points
happiest*
posted a quote
June 2, 2013 4:27pm UTC
*goes online shoping*
*puts everything i want in a card*
*checks subtotal*
*laughs and closes tab*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 57 points
happiest*
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 3:02pm UTC
No matter how fast you run
the serial killer always walks faster.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 228 points
glitter162*
posted a quote
May 25, 2013 6:50pm UTC
"If there are any idiots in the room,
please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one student rose to his feet. "Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 307 points
Cammie
posted a quote
May 26, 2013 7:21pm UTC
“why”
“because i said so”
good one mom you should be a lawyer

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 239 points
vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 5:44am UTC
If a person laughs too much, even at stupid things, they're lonely deep inside..
If a person sleeps a lot, they are sad..
If a person speaks less, but speaks fast, they keep secrets..
If someone can't cry, they're weak..
If someone eats in an abnormal manner, they're tense..
If someone cries on little things, they're innocent & soft-hearted.
If someone becomes angry over silly or pretty (small) things, it means they need love..
Try to understand people.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 93 points
Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 6:34pm UTC
A male celebrity can literally beat his girlfriend half to death
and still have a successful career
A female celebrity can gain a few pounds and she's shunned, mocked,
and ridiculed by thousands of people over many different mediums.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 338 points
kristabff
posted a quote
May 28, 2013 4:17pm UTC
I just realized that tanning beds
resemble the shapes of coffins. This is no coincidence.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 208 points
dolph*
posted a quote
May 28, 2013 12:22pm UTC
if you think about it, balloons are really weird
"happy birthday, here's a plastic sack of my breath"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 296 points
kristabff
posted a quote
May 28, 2013 3:49pm UTC
Dear mom and dad,
News flash! I'm not weaing headphones as a cute accessory! I'm ACTUALLY listening to music! I know, crazy right?? But this means I can't hear you when I wear these handy devices. SO, if you start talking to me and have no idea why I'm not responding, just remember that I cannot hear you and I'm not ignoring you, okay? Also, YELLING DOESN'T HELP I STILL DON'T HEAR YOU.
Sincerely,
All teenagers that are sick of
taking their headphones off 70
times a day to actually socialize.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 451 points

Next Page »

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles