Emilyycanfly's Favorites

Vinita*
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 8:40pm UTC

Bunnies are incapable of farting so when they eat cauliflower their insides explode and they die.

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kolbey_steffensmeier*
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 7:06pm UTC

I really hate
when you are
innocently trying to
wash off a spoon
so you turn
on the sink
and so much water
flings off that you
drown all of Canada

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gab*
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 6:48pm UTC

guys who live 1000 miles away: wow you're so beautiful, like literally perfect. all the nice girls live so far away! i wish i could meet you in person :(
guys who live in my town: wait, that thing is supposed to be a girl?

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 7:15pm UTC

English class today
Teacher: Based off of these essays we need to have a basic grammar lesson.
Teacher: Which one sounds right? 'I run good' or 'I run well' ?
Teacher: Anybody? Fine.
Teacher: Charlie.
Me:
Me:
Me: I don't run at all.
Teacher: Go sit in the corner.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 3:58pm UTC

Last night I had a dream where I was on trial for Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination and my whole defense was "I wasn't even born yet!" but I was told that that wasn't a legitimate alibi and I was found guilty.

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bye*
posted a quote
November 27, 2013 2:21pm UTC

a guy i know was dating this girl called kate and on their two year anniversary they like went for a picnic and it was super cute and romantic but his friends thought itd be funny to prank him by hiring a skywriter to write ‘will you marry me kate?’ in the sky and so they did and she saw it and he thought it’d be too awkward to say it actually wasnt for her so he didnt say anything and now theyre married and he still hasnt told her

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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Amenah
posted a quote
November 26, 2013 7:24pm UTC

Never smile; you don't know who might
be falling in love with your frown.
...wait, that's not right...

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cloverchild
posted a quote
November 27, 2013 5:20pm UTC

this happened in class today
me: um excuse me but my pen ran out of ink
teacher: well you can go down to the supply room but you'll need to pay for the pen
me: uh well i don't have any money at the moment, can i borrow one please
teacher: nope, go down to the supply room, you'll have to sign the debt book in your blood
teacher: just kidding
teacher: just red pen

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capsized*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 6:18pm UTC

LazY sHaDes oF
sLoTH

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capsized*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 9:41pm UTC

This shade of black I’m wearing really brings out the color of my soul (◕‿◕✿)

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capsized*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 11:08pm UTC

I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.
I Was Trying To Be Loving And Supportive But I Probably Overstepped My Boundaries And Came Off as Creepy: a feature-length film with two sequels and a TV series adaption.
I Was Trying To Tell You I Relate To Your Difficult Situation But It Probably Sounded Like I Was Making It All About Me: a novel saga with several side book adaptions and a movie.

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Hatshepsut *
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 11:34am UTC

Freedom :
is the 1st five seconds i was born crying,
with no name , no sin ,
no orientations & no human grudge.

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capsized*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 11:35pm UTC

life hack: kill everyone except ur crush so they’re forced to date u

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TellitTotheFrogs*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 7:11pm UTC

Drunk words
ARE SOBER THOUGHTS.

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capsized*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 10:09pm UTC

the guy in front of me walked into a post and i was so busy laughing that i walked into the same post
we’re going for coffee tomorrow morning

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bye*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 6:50pm UTC

life is hard and then you die

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 6:58pm UTC

I don't know guys, to me Satan just seems like the normal rebellious teenager.
And giving him his own dominion just wasn't a very suitable punishment.

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