Witty Profiles

ChuckNorrisFTW

1. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 9, 2011 12:17pm UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #60
   Chuck Norris not not use Spell-Check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the real spelling of it.
   
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2. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 9, 2011 12:13pm UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #59
   Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
   
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3. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 9, 2011 11:51am UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #58
   In fine print on the back page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
   
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4. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 9, 2011 11:47am UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #57
   There is no chin beneath Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
   
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5. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 9, 2011 11:42am UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #56
   Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
   
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6. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 8, 2011 1:20pm UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #55
   Chuck Norris once built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met the bullets with his beard, deflecting them.
   JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
   
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7. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 8, 2011 1:16pm UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #54
   Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
   
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8. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 8, 2011 1:11pm UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #53
   If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the list of extinct animals.
   
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9. ChuckNorrisFTW
   posted a quote
   June 8, 2011 1:07pm UTC
   Chuck Norris Fact #52
   Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin.
   
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10. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2011 12:50pm UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #51
    Some people pee their name in the snow;
    Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete.
    
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11. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2011 11:09am UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #50
    When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you can feel it in real life.
    
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12. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2011 11:28am UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #49
    Chuck Norris fought with the Hulk on a bet once. The loser had to paint himself green.
    
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13. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2011 11:24am UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #48
    The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
    
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14. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2011 11:19am UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #47
    Chuck Norris doesn't get hurt. Hurt gets Chuck Norris.
    
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15. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2011 11:12am UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #46
    Global warming, also known as The Norris Effect, is a result of the Earth being too afraid of making Chuck Norris cold. Someone please tell it that it couldn't make Chuck Norris cold if it tried..
    
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16. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2011 11:03am UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #45
    Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
    Once.
    
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17. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2011 10:56am UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #44
    Chuck Norris doesn't get sunburned; Burning him would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
    
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18. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2011 1:25pm UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #43
    Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
    
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19. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2011 1:21pm UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #42
    Chuck Norris can capitalize numbers.
    
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20. ChuckNorrisFTW
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2011 1:16pm UTC
    Chuck Norris Fact #41
    Chuck Norris takes a week-long vacation every day.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

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