Congratulations! You’re not perfect! It’s ridiculous to want
to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody’s ridiculous
sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is?
Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle
or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing
anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all.
Perfect is boring! So you’re not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun!
Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own
shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people
never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip
weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they’re
really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see
them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs ‘em? You can
drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and
sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you
please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find
nowadays. And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any
day of the week.