it's a rare kind of
emptiness
the kind that makes you feel so full of emotions
until you realize
there's really nothing there
and it's a hidden fear of trust
that is covered by a blurting of thoughts
until you realize
all your words are dry and empty
and the words that need to be said, can't
so you'll lay awake at 2am again
wondering how another night ended like this
and you'll come home and sleep for hours
to forget, so you don't have to feel
and you'll smile and laugh, and you'll breathe
but your breaths will feel shallow
and when you're alone, you'll grasp for them
but they will never be enough
and your heart will beat, but a little too fast, a little to
slow
and you will love, but it will leave you emptier
and you will look in the mirror and you'll see the blankess
in your eyes.
and you will turn away
because you can't believe who you are
and you'll live
but you will only be surviving.
