He walked over and sat between her and
her friend. He put his arm around both of them and says
“The water’s amazing!”
His friend saunters over, shaking his hair near the girls, making
them squeal.
She still sits there, with his arm draped around her shoulders,
hating herself for loving it. Although it killed her a bit inside,
she forced herself to get up. She grabbed her beach towel and her
book, and said
“Im going to go down closer to the water.”
She forced a smile on her face, and walked down the beach a bit,
praying no one would follow her, but also secretly hoping he would.
until she could no longer hear her friends going on. She
looked back at them all, laughing, and smiled sad smile.
Its been five months, almost six, since she had decided she was in
love with him. She only told a few of her closest friends, but she
could tell he knew. Or at least sort of knew. She layed her beach
towel down and squinted into the setting sun, laughing silently at
herself how pathetic she must seem.
It was about ten minutes before he came over.
“Hey buddy… something wrong?” he cautiously
asked. She stood up.
“no. no, nothing.” She again forced a smile on her
face.
He stared at her, and she looked back into his eyes. She made
herself look away, into the sun. she felt her eyes water up.
please no she thought to herself. Not now. Too
late. She felt one spill over her lid.
“are you… are you crying?” he asked. He
sounded disgusted. Or scared. Or caring. Maybe all three.
“no.” she huffed out a laugh, despite herself.
He looked at her, his eyes boring a whole into her skull.
“I don’t believe you.” He finally said.
She looked at him, her wind flying in the breeze.
He went on. “You haven’t been to our room in the past
week, and whenever I so much as blink in your direction you get all
distant for a few seconds, then run away as if I threatened to stab
you in the head. I know when somethings wrong with a girl, im not
as much of an asshat as I seem. Somethings wrong and you’re
telling me what it is. I’m your friend…”
Ah there it was, the word she knew would come sooner or later. The
word that simply stated in the most polite way possible that he
wasn’t interested. She was officially frienzond. The tears
started to come more heavily now. She felt like an idiot for crying
in front of him, but she couldn’t help it. Its been building
up inside of her for too long, and she couldnt do anything about
it.
“its just..” she began, but stopped until her voice
didn’t shake so much. “it just really sucks. To like
someone so much, and for them to be acting like they like you too,
when they don’t. and you have to pretend like you don’t
care. I know you’re only kidding, and I know you know I know
you’re only kidding, but it still just really
sucks….” Her voice trailed off. She took in a shaking
breath. “I’m sorry. I realize how unattractive this
is.” She turned away, staring into the sun that was almost
pas the horizon now. The air polluted with beautiful oranges and
pinks. She looked down at her feet, embarrassed that she was
blubbering.
“no.” he said softly. He gently cupped the sides of her
face with his hands, turning her towards him, and waited until he
looked him in the eyes to continue. “Nothing you do is
unattractive. Nothing about you is unattractive. Not the way your
hair is a mess is the morning, not the fact that you sing in the
shower. Don’t get the wrong idea please.” His eyes were
begging. “Everything about you is attractive”, and with
those words, he bowed his head down so their foreheads were nearly
touching, and just looked her in the eyes, smiling. She smiled back
at him, and she stood on her tiptoes so she could reach his lips,
and she kissed him.
For that moment, on the beach, everything was perfect. Their
friends were watching from a bit away, and she didn’t care.
She didn’t care that he didn’t want a commitment. She
didn’t care that he was too busy for anything more than a
friendship. She didn’t even care that maybe this didn’t
even mean anything. But standing here, with him holding her
face, and her hands wrapped around his neck, just kissing him, as
she’s wanted to do for half a year, everything was
perfect.
He walked over and sat between her and her friend. He put his
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Mar 4, 2013 8:55pm
