We were in the middle of a meadow,
just like in the movies.
We were having a picnic in the middle of summer.
I had long hair just like I used to, and my brown eyes were extra
sparkly today.
I kept laughing and throwing my head back, and you'd laugh
and smile with me.
We'd lay down and look up at the blue sky, with a perfect
amount of clouds.
And then we'd both look over and just look at each other,
really romantic.
But then the scene changes, and it starts raining.
There's thunder, and lightning.
The winds blowing, and you get up, and I run away.
I run all the way home, and I'm scared.
I've never been so afraid in my life.
And you kick my door in, and I'm crying.
Screaming at you, telling you to stop.
I'm under my vanity now, and you just yank me out by my
wrist.
And then it happens just like it always does.
You hit me repeatedly, and kick so many times.
My nose and mouth are both bleeding, and I have cuts and bruises
everywhere.
I look up at you, still crying.
And you look so angry.
"You ruin everything." You tell me.
I'm shaking and apologizing.
You kick me one last time.
"Piece of sh/t." And then you run out of my room, out
of my house.
I crawl over to my window and look out, and you're standing
there, with her.
And I wake up, crying. Sometimes screaming and my mom has to come
in and calm me down.
I'm 14, my mom shouldn't have to do that.
I keep having these dreams, like four times a week for two weeks
or so now.
I don't know why, but it's so scary.
So if you're wondering why I've changed when we're
face to face that's probably why.
And I haven't told anyone, because I'd just get lectured
about how unhealthy that is.
But what am I supposed to do to fix it? Huh?
Oh yeah, nothing.
At least nothing that I want to do.
