i could say it twice

4

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My mom comes home at the same time I do. 

"Hey sweetie! Guess who was at the grocery store! Remember my friend Melanie?"

"Uh... no... not really." I say.

"She was my college roommate... Well anyway we haven't spoken in years and she told me she has a son your age. Chase? I think it was...? Maybe it was Jason or something." I freeze. There's only one name that could be mistaken for those two: Jace.

"Jace?" I ask. I try to keep my voice level.

"Yeah! Anyway, he's a sophomore at your school! Maybe you guys could go on a date or something!" I give her a bewildered look.

"What?" She asks innocently.

"He's the guy... nevermind." I don't want her to know that her best friend's son bullies her daughter. "I'm not going to get any dates before I sli down." I remind her.

"Oh come on. Maybe it's time to drop that..." My bewildered look changes to an astonished one. "Or... not...? But look. Be nice to him and maybe he'll like you for you, not for your body."

"It's not other people I'm dieting for, it's me." But we both know that's not entirely true. 

"Fine. Whhhhhaaaaatever." She says dragging out the word. "I found this old picture of dad and me. Melanie gave it to me." Her  eyes tear up a little bit at the mention of dad, and mine do too. 

I haven't seen my dad since August 12th, 2005, and I never will again. He was deployed for two years until he died in combat, saving another mans life. He got a medal, but he wasn't alive to see it. That was when I became fat. I ate my grief and sadness away. I never ate less than 5,000 calories a day for almost a year. I regret that more than anything, because not only did I lose my best friend, but I lost any self respect I had for myself and others did too. 

We stand in each other's embrace for a few moments, not wanting to cry, because if we do we won't be able to stop, and not being able to move, because if we do we'll cry. She releases me and gives me a teary smile.

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okay so I want to finish this story before I go on vacation on saturday, but that probably won't happen. I feel bad rushing, but maybe you like it... so feedback, comment, fave, follow! Chapter 5 is going to be up in like 10 minutessss(: