THIS IS JUST TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM. IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS WHOLE THING, I LOVE YOU!


 

How could you do all of this to me?! You really do not know how much that you destroyed me and I am never going to let you find out because then you will finally realize that you're better than me. I loved you more than anything in this whole entire world. I still do. Why? I honestly do not know. You treated me like crap every single day of our relationship. Four whole months I went through emotional pain. I put up with every bit of it because I loved every single one of your flaws. I would take you back in a heart beat if it didn't mean losing half of my friends. I still think about you every single day. You will never know the impact that you had on my life. Austin, you really were my first true love. I loved you enough to spend the rest of my life with you, I thought. I still wish I could take back everything I said to you, even though I have no reason to. I was the one to apologize every single time. I treated you like a King. I would never dream of cheating on you. I barely even talked to another guy when we were together. You didn't. You talked to every girl that came your way. I still remember the words you said to me that broke my heart. No one, not even you, knew how I truly felt. No one could ever understand. I put you first in my life. I always tried to look my best for you. I tried to be perfect. I now realize that I never will be good enough for you, no matter how hard i try. I don't know how long it is going to take to actually get over you. I will. I deserve better. I just don't why why you did this to me. I don't know why you single handedly destroyed me. I don't know why I still haven't recovered.