Torn
Chapter 36
 I didn't read anything past the introduction.  The rest of the article was just telling our story, complete with pictures of the crash, old pictures of the family, pictures from different events each of us went to, a separate little article underneath a head shot of everyone full of empty words about how awful this whole thing was.  I didn't want to see any of their faces; I didn't want to look at their frozen smiles.  Seeing them frozen in some of the best moments of their lives when their lives were now ended would unravel me.   The only article I was able to read was Eli's.  I missed him so much that seeing his face and not trying to feel his presence again, wasn't an option. 
                 I couldn't stop staring at his picture.  He was wearing a red sweater.  His face was not pulled into a smile, but his eyes were so focused that he could have set fire to the paper that he was printed on.  His hair was cropped short and ink black, the overall effect was stunning and heartbreaking.  I quickly moved my eyes down to the article about him.
                "Elijah Aiden Crown, born in Suwanee, Georgia in 1992 to mother Sophia (see page 23) and father Daniel (see page 23) Crown.  He was the first born to the couple and a sister Elaine (see page 24) or Lanie, was born a year later.  He was a good student, not top notch bookwork, but no one ever had anything bad to say about him.  Baseball player from age 3, Crown was the star of his school.  He rose to the top of his high school on his reputation of his fine athleticism, good looks, and charming nature.  Baseball wasn't all that he was good at however, he was quarterback of his varsity football team as a junior.  Voted MVP in both sports as a senior and prom and homecoming king, he rode out of high school in a blaze of glory.  A full four year scholarship to University of San Diego for baseball was unnecessary when he dropped everything for his little sister, Haylee Crown to help her reach her full potential as the teenage star she is today.  The family toured around the world for eight months before this accident, and during the tour, Eli was as essential a part of everything going together as Haylee or Tyler.  A helpful, caring, and loving young man, he was too young to be lost and he will not be forgotten, especially not by the family he left behind."
                Opposite to my thoughts, the article made me feel better.  I read everyone else's too, starting with Lanie's.
                Her picture was just as breathtaking as Eli's in a different sort of way.  Instead of looking brooding and stunningly mysterious like he did, she looked happy and full of life.  Always my favorite look on her, but one that she saved for special occasions.  She wasn't looking directly at the camera, but she was looking down at something, probably shoes.  She had used one hand to pull back her long curly curtain of dark hair and her million dollar smile was reflected all over her face.  She was just wearing an old gray sweatshirt, but it looked like a Versace original on her in that moment.
                "Elaine Ava Elizabeth Crown was a beautiful, prosperous young woman.  At the age of 18 she was in her prime and brimming with life.  Her passion was theater, and she was in all of her plays from kindergarten through her junior year.  She was a crowd favorite with her piercing blue eyes, versatility, and sweet laugh.  She was a standoffish person off of stage, however, and she preferred to watch everyone else from the sidelines where she knew she could be helpful.  She was a good big sister to Haylee and a supporting younger sister to Elijah (see page 24).  No one can say that she didn't care, and she was the picture of health.  Now she is laid up in a hospital, fate unknown.  This is not the future she saw for herself, but we all stand behind her as she tries to move on with her life."
                Next was Mom and Dad. I didn't read their articles, I knew what they would say.  Instead I just looked at their pictures.  Mom's was of her at a gala for me, she was looking straight into the camera with a squinty stare that was wonderfully modelesque.  He long brown hair was pulled out into an elegant bun, and her green eyes were popping with a smoky shadow.
                                 Dad's was one from the baseball game that he took Eli and I to a few years back.  It was actually a picture that I had taken, and in the back of my mind, I wondered where they got the picture.  But it was a really good picture. He was wearing his blue baseball cap and he was wearing his old green sweatshirt.  His blue eyes were crinkling where his wrinkles were embedded around his eyes.  Everything familiar about his face was there in that picture.
                The next page was just a big collage of pictures from old vacations, recent ones from events, and family photos.After looking at them for a few seconds, I closed the magazine and threw it on the floor.  Tyler came over quietly and picked it up and put it on the bedside table before crawling into bed with me.  He stroked my hair and hummed one of the songs he wrote me until I fell asleep.