I love you <33 1-4-3

I am scared right now. Scared I am about to loose my kinda best friend all because of a boy. No it's not her, it's me. I like this boy and would do anything for him. But he doesn't care about me. Me and this boy used to date and now I guess we're like brother and sister, well that's what we call each other. I made the stupid mistake of putting this boy before my friends. I let them down and I'm probably gonna lose my kinda best friend. I am really scared and upset right now. I made such a dumb mistake and I know my friend's not gonna forgive me for it again. Well I guess my life's not complete anymore without her. I just hate myself so much. I wish I never put him first. Well never again will I put him first because I just probably lost the most important person in my life. I really really hate myself.