so last year, my best friend killed himself.
like, one second he was there, and the next...
BAM... no more Chris. No more best friend.
No more kid to mess around with, no
more person to pull pranks with, no
more friend to party with, no more friend
to tell things to. No more brother. 

They all told me it would get better,
all seven therapists. they said he would
want me to move on, would want me to
appreciate the time i had with him, the short,
precious time i was able to steal with him.
they told me I would be happy again, told me
to miss him but to continue forward,
because thats what he would
want.

1 year later. Nothing's better.
things are worse. 
i want to die.