Do you realise just how hard this is for me? I always wanted you to be happy, but the fact that you're happy because I'm not a part of your life is simply ripping me to pieces. I love you, I really god damn love you, and no matter how much I deny it inside, I probably always will. I cannot simply throw away feelings, I cannot throw away the words I once spoke to you. I want to run away from everything, I want this to be over, I want to quit, but I can't run away, I can't run away from the words I said, I cannot run away from the fact that I love you with every fibre of my body. You've lied to me, you've broke me, you've made me cry myself to sleep, but you're worth it, you've been worth every single tear I've shed, every sleepless night, every lie, despite it all, you've always been worth the pain. I'm so sick of crying over you, because I know crying isn't going to bring you back to me, and if i'm honest, I don't think anything will. You weren't happy, I guess you never were, I just wish you'd see how hard this is for me, how close I am to quitting everything, I just hope you see how hard my life is without you.