I am wasting away to NOTHING…… mentally because I have no one to talk to that I feel will understand what I am going through…… and physically because I am throwing up everything I eat and BREAKING my skin in the process.

My mind is BEGGING my body to change, while my body is SCREAMING out for me to change my mind.
I eat whatever I want because I know that I will be back in the same old bathroom, with the same old toothbrush and the same old toilet. All of the food and nutrition that is supposed to be going into my mind and body is literally going down the DRAIN.
My mind is CRYING OUT for mercy; it needs all of those things that are going down the drain. I take the kitchen KNIFE and slide it slowly and effectively across my HIP because I don’t want anyone to see it on my arms.  I watch as I BLEED onto the floor and do it a few more times as the tears run down my face from the PAIN. I know what I am doing to my body but I can’t stop. The SCARS on my body are a constant reminder that I am not PERFECT… the one thing that I strive to be.
I starve myself to look like everyone else, and I cut myself to try to take away the pain. I put on the best fake SMILE and everyone thinks I am the happiest person in the world… little do they no I cry myself to sleep every night and wake up just to start it all again in the MORNING………