i want to be 110 pounds ,
i know it's outrageous ,
I know it's stupid.
i know it's highly impossible .
I know it's stupid that i care so much about a number .
i know that i shouldn't torture myself with  thinsperation photos telling myself ,
well maybe if you didn't have this or that you'd look like that sooner . 
Then i go to the mirror . 
And stare at someone i don't want to look at. 
Sometimes it doesn't feel like im looking at myself in the mirror .
like its someone else. 
I sabotage myself so often .
I eat when i get upset .
I eat ALOT.
Too Much.
I gain weight too easily .
I hate myself for it .
He says he'd love me no matter what it says ,
We both know thats a lie . 
I know he'd like me skinnier.
So Would I .