My letter to him...

Dear Sam,
I was never with you, but you broke my heart, in ways I didn't even know possible. You picked her, my bestfriend. But that's okay, she is who makes you happy. You make her happy. I am okay with that, I am okay with you being with her. I want you to be happy. But, you don't get to do this to me. I still like you, I never told you how I felt and that's something I regret and probably always will. You're my bestfriend. You're the one I want to talk to when I have a bad day. You're the one who knows how to make me happy on my worst days. You're the one I go to bed thinking about. You're the one I love. I may like other guys, but part of me will always have feelings for you. I've excepted that fact. But, you don't get to do this to me. You don't get to like me. You picked my bestfriend and it broke my heart. You chose her, not me. Everytime I see or talk to you it makes my day, then breaks my heart over again. To be reminded that I could have had you but didn't step up. To know you like me but love her, to know that I was good but not good enough. That breaks my heart. And to be reminded of that everytime we talk, everytime you flirt with me, everytime we hug. That's not okay. You don't get to do this to me. You don't get to like me but love her.

If only I could say all this to him.