I Lost Everything

December 12, 2011
Writing this now, I look back and think about how much I loved her. Now that she's gone, I feel like I can't love anyone like that again. It was so amazing while it lasted. But, you see, I let her down, and I didn't mean to do it. But, we both moved on.

December 25, 2010
Christmas with her was even more amazing. We were actually dating, and my mom didn't even care. She knew neither of us would try and pull something, so she was cool with it.

The morning of Christmas I woke up, and knocked on her door. No one answer at first. Then, she opened the door, real wide, and jumped into my arms. "Ahh!" I screamed. We both fell to the ground. Her on top of me holding my hands again. She leaned in and kissed me. I really enjoyed her kissing me. "What do you want for Christmas, Hun?" I asked her when she was done, and we were both back on our feet. She looked at me with wide eyes and said "I hope you didn't get me anything, Love." I looked at her with confused eyes and she said "You're the best thing anyone could ever get me for Christmas." I started smiling.

She looked into my eyes, and kissed me again. This time, my older sister came out of her room and said "I hate puppy Love." Lecia ignored her, and pushed me into a wall. "Love you," She winked and ran down the stairs, trying to get away from me. I caught up with her before she got into the kitchen and picked her up. "You're not leaving without payback!" I said, and hung her upseide down. "NO!!! Ahhhh!" She started laughing, and I sat her onto the couch in the living room.

My mom saw us laughing on the couch and smiled. Since my dad wasn't around for Christmas she was glad two people in the household got a bit of romance for the Holiday season. "Okay you, two. Breakfast is done, and after that... We'll open presents." She said. Lecia pulled me up and hugged me tiny waist. As she was doing that, we walked over to the table.

My mom, being who she is, started asking Lecia questions. "Lecia, do you miss them?" Lecia's face saddened, and a tear rolled down her face. "Yes." She whispered. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug. She looked up to me and whispered; "I'd die without you." I looked into her eyes, and said "Never let go."

My sister rolled her eyes and made a puking noise. "Whatev." She whispered to herself. Everyone acted like they didn't hear it as we ate breakfast. After that, we all walked into the living room where the tree was, and opened presents. It was supposed to be a happy time, but my mom couldn't stop crying because my dad wasn't there.

He'd been called into the war three months before their aniversary.. Today. She missed him so much, and he barely got to write her, or call. She was happy for me, but she was sad for herself. Although she tried her hardest to hide it.

Lecia and I sat on a couch away from everyone else. We didn't talk to eachother, but we looked into eachothers' eyes. Barely blinking. We did this for almost 30 minites, or until my mom said "Okay, okay. Stop it with the lovely gooey stuff! And open your freaking presents!" She didn't usally mind that... But I guess since it was a family Holiday, I should have interacted with them more, and her less.


 

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