I am so over everything. I dont know what to do anymore. All the reason's that i had to keep me alive are slowly fading away and i find myself with no reason to stay alive and no purpose. I dont know what i did to deserve this kind of punishment that god has thrust upon me. Disownment form my own famly, Loss of my loved ones and abondonment from some of my bestfriends. There is only one reason why i am still alive today, and that is because my sister Tay is always talking my out of suicide. I dont know hopw many times she has stopped me from commiting suicide, how many times she has listened to me cry why i tell her whats wrong, how many times she has hugged me after seeing my scars or just cared for me because we are family. I love her tyo death. But i know how much of a burden i am to her. I know hjow much she loves me nd she has told me countless times ad i in return have told her how much i love here, she is my world and i hers. I just cant stand the thought of being a burden to her. I was feeling like commiting suicide again today and i wanted to tell her but i couldnt. Because i dont want to keep burdening her. But i just want to end it all. The pain of it all just hurts too much, i can't stand it. I know it's selfish for me to be thinking of commiting suicide but some people just cannot understand or feel the pain that i fee inside. I just want it to all go away.