As i lay here in the dark i start to
think about everything i've been through. At this moment i start to get
this old feeling that i felt everyday. I just cant put my finger on
what it is. Than it hits me, its a craving. That thing i used to
look forward to everyday. That thing that gave me permission to cut
myself again. It let me bring my blade to my wrist.
That feeling? Yeah, that feeling came
back. But what did i do? No i didnt do what you thought i did. To be
honest, it took everything i had to hold myself back from cutting
myself. From going back to my past and doing the one thing that
ruined my life. But on the other hand it was the one thing that i
enjoyed and the one thing that i looked forward to everyday for a
year.
I still miss it. And i still miss it
everyday. Even though i've been "Clean" for about eight months.
Rediculous ik. But unless you've been through this you just
won't fully understand what i went through and still go
through.
As i lay here in the dark i start to think about everything i've
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·
Oct 4, 2011 12:31am
