today my mom told me my brother was in a car accident this morning. luckily he only hurt is arm. i havent seen him in three months. im 14 and hes 29. hes my big brother and i miss him so much, but its not like i can drive over there any hour of the day to see him. i could have lost him and all i couldve had said as a last memory of him was, "yeah last time i saw my big brother was about 3 months ago at a party." that truly kills me. then i have a backstabbing bestfriend calling me ugly to every guy she knows and trying to change what they think of me, because she needs every ounce of attention all the time. i lost the best thing that ever happened to me, i lost the guy im never going to get again. he was my best friend, the one who could automatically changed my mood, the one who said i looked beautiful after an all nighter and soccer. he was the one and i lost him. he still wanted to be friends, but im pretty sure he changed his mind about that. i want him back more than anything in the world. and me and my dad havent spoken to eachother in weeks.

if you read all my venting right now, i love you.

 

being honest i dont think i would care if i got struck by lightening right now. i know that sounds terrible and i shouldnt think that because people have it worse, but the tears wont stop.