dear him, i'm getting sick of being played, i
wish you would just be straight forward with me.
i'm sick
of blinking back the tears, and dealing with the huge lump in my
throat when i think of you and her. i'm not going to sit here and be
your secret anymore, and be here for you to say you love me when
you just 'feel like it' i am not your back up plan and
I'm most definitely not your friend with benefits. i deserve
so much more than this, i deserve someone that puts me first,
someone that gives a sh*t about me. the worst part about this, is that
after you do all of this, i still f**king love you with all my
heart. i trust you with everything, and you are the only person
that knows every single thing about me. people laugh because we
look at each other like we are married, we have conversations
where we stay locked into each others eyes for what seems like
forever. the butterflies you give me are like vicious i swear,
they like punch and kick my insides, even if its just when we
brush against each other. i love how you arent afraid to apologize for
something you did, even if it means you have to grab me and
whisper in my ear 'im really sorry', the way you pick on me, just to
see if i'll get mad at you enough to hit you (i never
do). and your smile, id do anything i could to make you smile -
the way your cheeks get red,your eyes squint up and twinkle then
you lean your head back. i love how at the most random moments,
you will tell me how beautiful i am, or how much you love me. the
worst part of it all...is you aren't even mine, and
im sure if
you were mine, id love you more than any other girl has or will,
but im not
gonna be
here forever.
