If you really knew 

me...
 

If you really knew me, you would know that I don't know what being truly happy feels like anymore.  If you really knew me, you would know the scars on my wrist aren't from my cat, because I don't even have a cat. There from the self harm I've been inflicting on myself for over a year now.  If you really knew me, you would know that I am unhappy with the person I've become.  I hate the way I look, and the way I act.  If you really knew me, you would know I've thought about suicide before, but something stopped me.  I don't really know what though.  If you really knew me, you would know that everyone I have ever trusted have showed me a reason why I shouldn't have.  You would know that I'm searching for the person I want to be.  If you really knew me, you would know that I don't get along with my dad at all. You would know that I'm afraid to be alone in the same room as him. We always end up fighting. If you really knew me, you would know that I don't think I'll ever find someone who loves me for who I am.  Who accepts me even with my insecurities, scars, and flaws.  If you really knew me, you would know that I'm quickly losing hope in our society.  If you really knew me, you would know that I think I'm developing an eating disorder because of the high standards that society has set for teens now a days.  If you really knew me, you would know that I just need someone to give me hope, and to help me get through the day.