When you left, I fought with everything I had to keep you
When I realized you were gone, I killed myself, holding on to the memories, and the feelings that I still had, just incase you came back. But now, I want to forget you, forget us and I cant.  It's like I've been trying so hard to keep you that It's automatic anymore. I don't  even want you, but nothing that i do can make me let go. I still think about you when  that song comes on, or when i'm sitting by a fire. I still hold my breath when my phone  goes - hoping that its you. Instead of asking myself how to get you back, i'm asking  how to let you go. This hold you have on me is ridiculous.. I don't love you anymore, but I still think about us day in and day out. I guess i just have to accept that you will always be there, in the back of my mind or somewhere in my heart. I'm kidding myself thinking that I could ever truly let go

*long but worth the read*