You might never read this.
And that is why i'm writing it here on witty. You see, i still like you. But i can never tell you that. It would ruin everything. You've hurt me so many times. Not physically, but emotionally. You played with me and my heart, and just when you had me believing you actually wanted me and cared about me, you chose HER. That was six months ago. And i Still hurt everyday. I have every reason to hate you. I've tried telling myself your not worth it. But then that other day, when i was in the choir room playing the song i wrote, you walked in and sat down and listened. And when i was done, you stood up and clapped, even though it was just me and you in that room. I was confused, and i just wanted to get out of that room. But as i tried to walk past you, you caught my arm and pulled me in for a big hug. I didn't even try to fight it. When you hurt me, i told myself i would get over you. But here i am, six months later, and i still think about you everyday. The truth is, i will never hate you. I can't. Even though i love you, i will be your friend, if that is what it takes to keep you in my life. I keep fighting everyday. Its almost like its a battle to keep you in my life. And at night, i cry myself to sleep because I'm starting to feel like you don't even care. I feel lonely. And when i see the way you look at her ...it tears me up inside. You say we are friends. Well then how come you never txt me anymore? How come you never make time to talk to me, or even say hi to me in the hallway. This morning, after crying myself to sleep last night, the realization finally hit me. We will never be friends. Because you see, you and i were never just friends to begin with. I've realized that being friends with you, is like pretending I'm a part of a group of people that i can't ever be part of. It's like pretending something is there when its really not. I've realized that being friends with you actually hurts me more. I will always care about you, so much more than you will ever know. I'll miss you everyday. But i have to let go now. I'll keep my head up and keep trudging through life. and maybe the heart ache will fade. If there's one thing I've learned, its that people change, and feelings change. It sucks. But its how it is. I love you Eric. I really do.